Lost Within Myself

8

"Give it back, you cunt!"

The loud screech rang through the house so suddenly it made Harry flinch. He immediately held his breath, praying the abrupt movement didn't wake up the boy behind him.

Cackles could be heard, followed by a voice crooning "I don't know what you're talking about, mate."

"You fucker- Josh! Jj is bullying me!"

"Okay."

More laughter followed after the Josh's uninterested reply.

The discussion that was apparently going on continued with softer voices. Harry could only make out bits and pieces- something about Ethan having lost his phone and being convinced that Jj had it. Harry had no doubt in mind that Jj did indeed have his phone. It was just such a Jj thing to do.

Things got really quiet for a second. Then, a yell sounded followed by hysterical giggles.

"I knew it!"

Soft murmuring pulled Harry's attention from the boys in the living room to the boy in his bed. Simon attempted to pull the younger even closer to his body- something that Harry doubted was possible- and pressed his nose in Harry's hair. A heavy leg got thrown over his own thighs, as if Simon was making sure he couldn't go anywhere. Not that he'd try.

"Good morning." Harry kept his voice hushed, not wanting to startle the other.

"Hmm, Haz," He slurred. "Back t'sleep."

Harry hummed. Going back to sleep would require actually falling asleep in the first place. And he had, once again, not been able to do that.

The whole night Harry had stared at the white wall in front of him, getting lost in his own mind, until he heard someones alarm go off. He had no idea what time it currently was, as he was turned with his back to the rest of the room. But judging by the bustling around the house he guessed it was later in the morning.

The tears that had steadily trailed down his cheeks during the night had dried and Harry could only hope his eyes weren't too red.

His muscles hurt from tightening them in an attempt to stop his shaking, he absolutely did not want to wake Simon up during the night.

Harry shut his dry eyes. The nose that pushed against the back of his head, the fingers that held a strong grip on his own, the naked flesh of a sturdy chest pressing against his back- Harry tried to relish in it all. Simon made him feel safe. Calm.

A part of him wanted to turn around so he could gaze upon his Simon's face. He loved his face. To Harry, Simon was the most beautiful man he had ever laid eyes on. His catlike eyes with those unfathomable eyelashes, his strong nose that Harry loved to shower with kisses, the alluring shape of his mouth that would curl into the prettiest smile. He just couldn't get enough of it all.

And he didn't deserve it. He knew that.

"Breakfast is ready!"

That was Tobi's voice. Harry wasn't surprised.

The sound of multiple sets of feet trudging to the kitchen amused Harry- it sounded like a raft of ducks waggling after their mother.

One set of feet wasn't aligned with the others. Soft footsteps seemed to be coming towards his bedroom. Harry knew it'd be one of the boys coming to wake Simon and himself up for breakfast. He internally screamed. Food was the last thing he wanted.

A hand gently knocked on the closed door.

"Guys? Are you up?"

With reluctance Harry responded "Yeah."