Pins and Needles

Chapter 9

"Wait, so you did or didn't live in Germany? I'm confused, I thought you did?" Maeve asked.

We were done eating and our plates had just been taken, so the adventures of my overseas life became a topic of interest. Most of the previous harsh atmosphere had dissipated which I think everyone was grateful for.

"Yes, I lived in Germany. It's just, the base we lived at was extremely close to the Netherlands border, so the culture there was mixed between German, Dutch, American, and even a few other nationalities. It was hard to understand exactly where I was since I was so young and so much was going on around me," I said, shifting in my seat in the process.

"Why were you there in the first place? I didn't think Germany and the US were... well allies," Dean cut in.

"No, that's not true. Us and Germany are actually one of the tightest allies in Europe, so there are a bunch of American military bases there," I said. "We were moved there... temporarily. It was a place for us to stay while the military figured out where my dad needed to be moved. The base was pretty big so they had room to spare; everything worked out."

Maeve asked, "Well, what was it like? Was the food good?"

"It was fine, not great but not horrible. The food, on the other hand, was surprisingly tasty. We had a mix of German and Dutch cuisine, leaning more towards the Dutch side for some reason. There was a lot of currywurst and bitterballen, but they couldn't even compare to Poffertjes."

"What's that?" Maeve inquired.

"Poffertjes are an extremely popular Dutch dish and it makes sense. They were delicious. They're basically just small pancakes with powdered sugar on top, but I swear, they had to put like crack in them or something. I tried to make them when I came to the states, but they never even came close to the ones back at base. I'm no culinary genius, but how hard can it be to make mini pancakes? Well, apparently very hard."

A short symphony of laughs lit up the table, mostly coming from Maeve and Dean, less from Clark.

After calming down, Dean asked, "So, do you like it better there or here? I know you weren't there for long, but still."

My smile faded and I dropped my head. My thoughts unwillingly traveled to the past, the events that could never be undone. The things I wish I could forget about already...

I cleared my throat, "Ah, uh I like it better here. Yeah."

Dean tilted his head but didn't press and instead just gave me a sympathetic smile.

"Well, since that's over and we are on the topic of living outside of the country, I lived in Canada for a while."

Maeve snorted, "Oh my lord, I've heard this story already."

"Uh okay? There are other people at the table in case you haven't noticed, Maeve, and I'm fairly certain they haven't heard it yet," Clark said, eyeing me a little longer than necessary.

I rolled my eyes and sat back in the booth, preparing myself for what he had to say next.

"Alright, well I was born and raised in Ontario until I moved here of course. My dad is Canadian and met my mom when he was visiting family in Detroit. They moved to Windsor since it was right next door and the environment was surprisingly nicer. That included the people. Everyone who lived in Windsor was ten times kinder than those who lived in Detroit. If you've never been to Detroit and never experienced the community then you're lucky; it ain't great."

I couldn't handle listening any longer. If he was starting with the story of his parents' meeting, I didn't want to know how boring the rest would be. Figures Clark couldn't come up with anything engaging, he was just proving my point further. He had to piggyback off of my conversation topic to start his own, pathetic.

I looked around the restaurant, trying to find anything that could occupy my time for a bit. I stretched my arms up and squinted my eyes, popping a few bones in the process. My hands found their place back in my lap and I glanced over at Dean, glazing over the features of his face for a bit. He eventually felt my eyes and turned his head towards me. When he saw me looking at him, he smiled a genuine, but vague smile. I returned it, then directed my gaze towards the table in front of me and spotted a piece of wood sticking out of the plank in the process. I picked at the piece, eagerly trying to remove it, but it refused to budge. I put more force in my pull which required me to sit up a bit. Sadly, I failed to grab onto the chip and gave up, slumping back into my seat in dissatisfaction.

"She was so ugly."

I sat up abruptly. What?

I lurched my head towards Clark only to see him staring at me dead in the eye. My stomach dropped. I could hear noises, but I couldn't make them out as my ears began to ring. However, certain words pulled through the fog when I wish they hadn't.

"Hideous."

"Monstrous."

"Insane."

Over and over again these words circulated my mind, biting and nipping at my conscience. He was talking about me, he had to be. I looked back up at Clark in hopes of my suspicions being wrong, but they weren't. His eyes held mine so steadily as he continued talking like it was nothing. He was saying these things about me; he thinks I'm crazy. He thinks... I'm ugly.

I sprang up from my seat, startling everyone around me as I reached over the table and snagged Clark's collar, "What the hell are you saying?! You're the crazy one, JUST SHUT UP!"

I felt an array of arms clawing at me in attempts to pry me off of the boy, but their efforts were futile. I had a tight grip on him and unlike the chip in the table, I was extremely unwilling to let this go. I continued my fit of yelling in pure rage; Maeve screeched at me to stop in the background and Dean tried so desperately to unhand me. I spotted a sharp, shiny utensil in my peripherals and quickly grabbed it with my unoccupied hand. It was a knife. My eyesight started to glass over as I lifted the knife up slowly. A strange sense of deja vu washed over me as I knew exactly where I was aiming.

However, it was gone as fast as it came because the knife was swiped from my hand in a flash. My body was then yanked from place which caught me off guard and made me lose my grip. I was dragged from the restaurant, my feet trying to keep up with the faster-moving person behind me. I gazed at the table where Maeve was placing down the knife on the table and holding onto a thoroughly stunned Clark's face. Then, in one swift motion, I was swung forward and placed on my feet. Dean and I were on a wall behind the restaurant, one that wasn't easily seen by the parking lot or the patrons inside. I felt a pitter-patter of water on the back of my head as my eyes were trained to the grass below my feet. Small droplets of water surrounded us, but they weren't big enough to drench our clothes.

"ANGEL!" Dean yelled and grasped my shoulders. I look up at him, my mouth hanging open a bit since I was quite drained from all the things that had already happened.

Dean sighed, "Are you okay?"

I pitifully nodded and moved to go back inside, but Dean stopped me.

"I know you're lying. Why'd you blow up like that?"

I didn't want to tell him anything, so I just opted for looking away. I stealthily slid my hand into my pocket and reached for the familiar metallic pin, digging it into my skin to ease my anger.

Dean nodded, "Ok, it's fine if you won't say, but I need to know why you grabbed the knife. I'm worried and it doesn't make me feel safe, please."

I watched his expression knowing that I owed it to him to at least explain that.

"I felt... provoked. Like he was talking about me."

"But, he wasn't."

I sighed harshly, swiping my hands through my hair in frustration, and began to pace, "You don't get it. He might've been addressing a different person, but it was about me. I could feel it. You should've seen the way he looked at me, the way he eyed me. All the things he said, he applied to me. He was calling me crazy, he was calling me hideous, he was calling me ugly. That wasn't about some random girl, I just know it."

"Ok ok ok, I get it. I'm sorry, so just calm down," he said, holding his hands up at me cautiously.

I nodded, my breathing slowing and my heartbeat calming. After I had fully cooled off, I didn't hesitate to move to the parking lot, Dean trailing not too far behind.