Pins and Needles

Chapter 14

I watched the buildings fly past me as my mother sped down the street. The funeral was a sudden arrangement; it was either we had it on Thanksgiving or next year, so, naturally, Mom opted for the former. We were rushing to get there since it took mom forever to get ready. The plan now was just to get there as fast as we could to arrive before guests. We would have to skip set-up, but we would at least make it for the final checks.

I glanced down at my dress, picking at a stray string that hung from the hem of it. I was wearing a short, black dress that hugged my waist and chest. It wasn't anything special; it was quite plain minus the ruffled pattern that covered the fabric top to bottom. The outfit was my homecoming dress, but seeing as I had no time to plan out funeral attire, I had to go with the only formal black thing in my closet.

The church was getting closer, according to the GPS, so I sat up in anticipation to get things over with. It did suck that we had to do this on Thanksgiving, but I suppose it was better than Christmas. I found it quite funny that the day we were obligated to give thanks for the things in our lives would be spent next to someone dead.

"What's so funny? Oh, is your father's death a joke to you, Angelica?" Mom spoke hoarsely.

I guess I had actually laughed out loud, so I quickly shut myself up and turned towards the window. Mom sighed and continued down the road, not saying a single thing until we got to our destination.

Once the car was parked, Mom and I walked inside and were stopped in the entryway by the funeral director.

"Hi, Natalie, Angel. I'm so sorry for your loss," the director sighed heavily and gave my mother a hug. "I promise this will be a beautiful ceremony to celebrate Jack's life."

Mom nodded and inhaled an unstable breath, "Thank you. Now, what can I help with?"

"Oh don't worry, dear, basically everything is set up and ready for guests. All I need is for you and Angel," she looked at me this time, "to stand here and hand out pamphlets to the guests who should be arriving at around 5."

"Mom nodded and I just exhaled. The director led us to a table that had all the pamphlets on it and handed each of us a stack, "Now, you can wait outside until guests arrive. It's always better to get outside soon as possible as nine times out of ten there will be a few early arrivals."

With that, the director walked off inside and ushered around a bunch of other people. I checked my phone as my mom headed outside and noticed the time read 4:40. I was sure that Mom could handle any people that came at that time, so I set down my stack and headed towards the front of the chapel.

"Hey, where are you going?" Mom called out.

I turned around and replied, "I just wanna check out the set up, it won't take long. I'll be back by 8:50."

Mom waved me off and I continued on inside, looking around at the architecture. The ceilings were taller than expected and paired with the almost decaying beams, the place gave off a pretty convincing century old Episcopal church vibe. There were off-white pillars that lined the walls and stuck out from the faint gold wallpaper behind them. I trailed my fingers over the pews as I passed them, noticing how the white paint peeled off with just a single scrape. The cushions were even less impressive as they were all obviously stained, the original velvety blue color only peeking out a little bit.

I had never been to a proper church service before, but I always wanted to. I wanted to have that experience as I thought it would be quite liberating. Christians always rave about the lord and such, so I felt like I was missing out in some way. There was so much history behind church and the religion itself that it kind of fascinated me.

As I walked further down the aisle, I saw a few stray workers take sheets to a back room and race out of one of the side doors to the graveyard. I took the lone opportunity to walk up to the crossing and approach the casket. The mahogany box sat on top of a table, covered in a silky white pall and various blue flowers. Next to the coffin was a picture of Dad, his name in a placard, the date he was born, the date he died, and the acronym R.I.P. There were also two vases full of blue and white flowers that sat on either side of the casket. I stepped near the table and inched my hands closer to the pall. I gingerly took off the flowers that occupied the top of the box and turned over the fabric, revealing the large wooden coffin underneath it. I grasped the top and pulled up, the task proving to be harder than originally expected. However, I eventually flipped it up and glanced inside the vast space. It was empty. I already knew that (Mom had decided against an open casket), but for some odd reason, I felt the need to check.
   
I turned my gaze back to the entrance of the chapel where I could no longer see my mother standing outside through the glass doors. I checked the time and it read 4:48, so I tidied up the presentation best I could before speed walking down the aisle. I pushed through the glass doors, pamphlets in hand, and saw Mom standing to the side with an elderly couple. My mother was hugging the woman who, when I got a better look, was my grandma. After they finished talking, the pair made their way over to me, bringing me into a hug as well.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie. I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you," my grandmother said.

I simply nodded, not quite knowing how to respond. Grandma backed away and squeezed my shoulder with a sad smile before going inside.

Mom walked over to me and stood by my side, "Keep your head high."

I again didn't really know what to say to that, so I just stood up straight. A couple cars eventually pulled up and I plastered a blunt smile on my lips before handing out the pamphlets like hot cakes.