Pins and Needles

Chapter 32

It was almost surreal. For the first time in my life, I could see... me. My face was raised and hugged my cheekbones. There was a splash of freckles across my nose that further defined it's roundness. There was a gorgeous pink tint to my lips and the shape of them was to die for. The stitches that encircled my face, eyes, and lips were still there of course, but I chose to block them out and focus solely on my appearance. I looked beautiful. The aching from the stitches had no effect on me anymore as I rode through the ecstasy. Tears spilled from my eyes and I made no move to stop them. This was it. This was what I looked like.

All the pain, instability, and mockery I had survived through over the years was worth it for that moment. My doubts and regrets were quickly turned into triumphs. I loved every piece of me, every single bit. I placed a steady hand over the mirror surface and whispered my thanks over and over again to the girl. She had stuck by my side throughout the trying times, and now that things were fixed, she needed to stay no longer. I wish I had given her a proper goodbye, but I couldn't look back now.

I stayed put for a long time before being interrupted by the front door opening. I glanced over at the clock on my side table and it read 3:14 am. Who is that?

I got up cautiously and slowly made my way to the foyer. Still on my guard, I made sure to stay in the dark as the intruder had turned on the living room lights. However, intruder they were not as when they called out to me, I recognized their voice immediately.

"Angelica! I'm back! I know I wasn't supposed to be here until tomorrow, but I just couldn't leave you home alone on Christmas. Well, technically, it's not Christmas anymore, but you get the point," Mom spoke, frantically dragging her luggage next to the couch.

The hallway lights were still off, so I made my way towards the living room where Mom could see my new self. I was beyond excited to show it off; I needed people to see me for who I really was and my mom would be the first testament to that. However, my heavy feet only carried me so far in the dark before Mom met me halfway and embraced me in a bear hug.

"Oh, honey, I missed you so much. I don't know what I was thinking leaving you here by yourself during Christmas!" she exclaimed, then pulled away to look me in the eye.

I chuckled and fidgeted my fingers, "Don't worry about it, I had fun."

Mom didn't say anything and I could barely see her face, but I knew she wasn't smiling. Instead, she reached for the light switch and when it illuminated the hall, she jumped away from me. This time, I could see her face, but it was not one I was looking for. She wore an expression of horror, not light-hearted astonishment. I'll admit, I was sort of dissatisfied with her reaction, but that didn't mean it would stay like that. Or, so I thought.

Mom held her stomach and mouth as she hunched over, but still kept eye contact with me as she rasped, "Wh-What happened- W-W-What did you do?"

I put both my arms out to her in efforts to calm her down and soothed, "Don't worry, this is just who I am now. You don't like it?"

"What did you do?!" she screamed, ignoring my question.

I crossed my arms, mildly offended at her contempt, "Nothing! I simply pursued what I wanted for myself. I took the initiative. Aren't you happy for me?"

Mom shook her head over and over until she stumbled into the bathroom and threw up in the toilet. I wasn't going to take it; she was being rude.

"You aren't supposed to react this way. I'm your daughter, out of all the people in the world, you should support me and my decisions. You should be proud, excited, and happy for me. You're being selfish," I defended.