Twinkling Lights

Chapter 12

******IM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE. IVE BEEN SUPER SICK RECENTLY, LIKE BEDRIDDEN SICK. IM ALSO BUSY WITH FINALS COMING UP. I WILL TRY TO UPDATE THE NEXT CHAPTER SOONER.******

*****TW: ABUSE, HOMOPHOBIA, TRANSPHOBIA, SLURS*****
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"I'm fond of you." Tsukki states plainly.

"What....no....no....you must be....mistaken. Or confused... You mean as a friend....right?" I question, feeling panic overwhelm me like a tsunami.

He's just confused.... I mean like he's gay! And well I'm.....not even a guy most of the time...

"I'm not confused. I like you. I really do." Tsukki pressed sternly.

"I'm sorry. But you're not thinking correctly right now. I mean like....you're not in the right mindset at the moment. Maybe you just feel the need for someone right now, but once it's over....I'll only be your friend again..." I counter anxiously.

"Yamaguchi Tadashi, I've always liked you. I might not be in the right mindset right now. But I can tell what I'm feeling is real. I like you." Tsukki spat back, turning to face me with a serious expression.

"I-I...need to think...." I mutter quietly, looking away from Tsukki.

What if I'm just in denial? Why don't I take the chance now even if it's just for the moment? I may never get a chance like this? Confess back! No! NO. A proper confession, with both of our minds clear. Not right now.

I reason with myself, nodding slightly to indicate I've come to a conclusion. I turn to face Tsukki once again, readying to give a response, when I was suddenly cut off. My phone started to go off like crazy, making me jump and tense up in fear.

No. No. Nononono. no....

I pull out my phone from my pocket, staring at the screen for a split second before answering. I swallowed hard and tried my best to sound normal—failing with a trembling voice.

"Hi, Mom. What....what's with the s-sudden call?" I sputter cautiously, feeling the sweat build up on my brow, and the squinting eyes of Tsukki locked on me.

"WHERE ARE YOU?! If that house is the house I think it is, I will discipline you harshly once you get home. NOW GET YOUR SORRY ASS HOME. We have something to discuss."

"Y-yes, ma'am!" I reply panicked.

I stare at my phone for a moment after my mom hung up. What do I do?! She found out! What does she want to discuss?! I don't wanna go home. The discipline.....I can't...no, not again. I mentally freak out, letting myself be consumed by anxiety and panic. My body staring to react to the unhealthy amount of anxiety overdose.

I start to tremble uncomfortably, my breathing picking up into full hyperventilation. My eyes sting from the flood of incoming tears. I stare forward at nothing complete dazed with fear. My mind going a mile a minute, whilst my stomach twists into a knot and my chest starts hurting.

I flinch, feeling a hand grip my shoulder tightly and pulling me from my impending doom. I snap my eyes towards the owner of said hand and take a few deep inhales.

"Yama, I need you to call down. Take deep breaths. Follow my breathing and focus on my voice. In.....out......hold it......in.....out...." Tsukki avows all calm and composed, allowing me to follow his breathing and tuning into his voice.

He wraps his arms tightly around my shoulders, bringing me into a tightly guarded embrace. These types of tight hugs help me calm down, whenever I'm having a anxiety or panic attack. I feel myself start to breathe normally, whilst my eyes blink away the never ending stream of tears.