A Girls Survival Guide

Speaking up!

Speaking up!

How many of us stand to be silenced? How many of us are forced to tame our voices because we're afraid of what would happen if we did roar? Or how many of us stay in the background, watching whilst other people speak up and wishing we could do the same?

Well, I say, stop wishing and start speaking up. I know more than anyone else that I know (if you get what I mean), what it feels like, living life in silence. I get it , we're afraid. Afraid that if we speak up, we might not be heard. Lets look at this point as a subtopic as we'll also do with the rest.

AFRAID THAT IF WE SPEAK UP, WE MIGHT NOT BE HEARD:

I literally have this issue. My voice is really small - about 4 levels above a squeak and 8 levels below a monkeys chant :)

but my point is that, to all those who have tried to speak up, but no one listened, I say DON'T GIVE UP! The fact that you can speak up for yourself at least once, proves that you can do it again. Forget about the ones who rained on your parade, and start listening to the person whose opinions matter the most - you. Sure, there are always going to be people who don't give a damn about what you say - I don't mean that in a mean way - but that just gives you a reason to care even more about what YOU say. Even if you're alone in a room, voice out your thoughts and emotions. YOU'LL hear it. Even if it's just a small group of friends, or even strangers, voice it out. YOU'LL hear it. And YOU being happy and being able to freely express yourself instead of bottling it all up is what really matters, not what people would think if you do. And somehow,just by saying it and hearing it, you end up meaning it. There will come a time, that you'll no longer be afraid to speak up (even if it takes a year or two) and finally, when you begin to hear it, there will be no doubt that someone will finally hear it too.

AFRAID THAT IF WE SPEAK UP, WE WILL BE HEARD:

Sometimes, when we're standing in front of a large crowd, a small group of people, or even a single individual, we just can't say what we want to say. We freak out, or we just end up choking back our words. Honestly, we need to stop doing this. If it's one thing that not speaking up has taught me, it's that it turns a small problem into a bigger one, maybe even your BIGGEST one. Maybe you're feeling like (1) YOUR FAMILY DOESN'T APPRECIATE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE/ WHAT YOU LIKE AND COMPARES YOU TO OTHERS EVEN THOUGH YOU TRY YOUR HARDEST (2) YOU LIKE A GUY BUT YOU CAN'T TELL HIM (3) YOU REALLY FEEL LIKE A CERTAIN SYSTEM (WHETHER THIS SYSTEM IS FOUND AMONGST YOUR FRIENDS, FAMILY, SCHOOL OR COMMUNITY) SHOULD BE CHANGED OR IMPROVED.

(1) I personally know this feeling and you should definitely speak up because if you don't, the more pain you're going to feel. I solved this issue by organising a family night,where every Friday, at a certain time, the whole family gets together to talk, play games and just hang out.

This definitely brings the family closer, and helps your parents to better understand you. This can lead to them also knowing when you're hurt and knowing if they were the ones who hurt you. Also, if you're able to build up the courage, on one of the nights, you can speak up about the problem you're facing because of them. If you have a large family, you can also talk in private with a family member you feel more comfortable with.

(2) SPEAK!!!!!! :) I know that it's harder than it sounds, but I kinda releases the pressure. It either turns out that he likes you or he doesn't. The healing process is sure going to be long (I'm still going through it :) ) but at least there's no more awkwardness and long nights thinking about the possibility amd nervous giggles and daydreaming. You don't have to waste your time thinking about someone that doesn't think of you in the same way. I know it sounds harsh but I would really like if you have a problem of the sort, you can PM me or comment because I really have some great advice on this but I don't want the chapter/article to be too long. If he does like you, then what were you worrying about all this while.

(3) A great way to speak up about this is through debate. You can come up with the topic, get a few people, evenbif it's just your close friends, and debate about it. Get your points and reasons ready, and SPEAK UP. Even if you just bring the topic up as a discussion, between your friends or a question in class. If there is a teacher around that you're used to, you can also discuss it with him/her and bring up strong points as to why you think that the system should be changed/improved. Start small and work your way up. If you're really devoted to it, then don't give up and soon enough, you will be heard. No matter how small the topic is, if it affects you or other people, then try and do something about it.

JUST PLAIN AFRAID:

STOP BEING AFRAID, because fear is going to take you nowhere. If your mother was afraid of giving birth, you wouldn't be here. If you were afraid to do a certain something (depending on your situation) would you have met a certain someone or got a certain something. Think hard about it.

Fear creates a hole for us. The more we fear, the more we dig deeper, and the deeper we dig, the harder it is for us to come back out of the hole. We all want to come out of the hole that fear has created for us but you won't be able to if you don't try.

Try once, and of you don't succeed, try again. When you get out of that hole, then you're proving that you're above fear.

In the words of Liv Rooney (Played by Dove Cameron in Liv and Maddie - I'm a Disney buff :) ) - "Fear is just an excuse to try harder" .

Songs for this chapter: Brave by Sara Bareilles

Read all about it by Emeli Sande

Please, please, please, if you don't have these songs, download them and listen to them. They are amazing and relate to this chapter alot. My next chapter/article will be about Impressions. I'd really like to hear your experiences and problems and hopefully help you solve them. You can contact me via comment or PM, and if you want to talk through another means, then simply PM me and I can give you my email or Facebook adress. Thank you and good night/day

- Yalianne13