"...sometimes I feel like I'll actually die from all these hardships and anguish in my life that never seems to ever end."
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Taehyung remains completely quiet, sitting across me, as I'm hunched over trying to calm my overwhelming emotions. He's probably having a hard time comprehending the truth of what I had just revealed to him.
I quickly blink my tears away, feeling relieved and somewhat at ease that I finally expressed all my bottled up emotions and what I have been going through alone.
"Taehyung," I weakly say, breaking the silence. "Maybe, I shouldn't have been the Don. Sometimes I wish appa had known earlier that Jimin was my brother in that way appa would have probably made him the Don rather than me."
It's traditional that it's always the eldest son of the Don that takes the position but other members can still take the position if they consider the son unsuitable.
"Or maybe even you Taehyung," I suggest to him. "Appa had highly considered you from the very start because he didn't believe in me. But I've work my ass off to prove it to him. Then finding out all this time that Jimin is my older brother..."
I pause for a moment, feeling a sudden ache in my heart. "But honestly, it should have just been you or Jimin that's Don. Although we are number one, Jimin's mafia is ranked second in South Korea and he did that in two years. He as a Jeon would have been a better fit for our mob. I have become a complete mess, unable to properly think anymore. I'm not fitting to be a Don. I can't follow appa's footsteps."
My father was a man of a few words but people still feared him. It was the way he stared at you and the way he can end your life in a matter of seconds just by a quick nod to his soldiers.
He never glanced but stared into your soul, trying to read you, looking for something you didn't want him to know. His presence was strong in any room he walked into, immediately causing fear towards the people in the room or even to people he haven't even met.
"Bro..." Taehyung says quietly, finally speaking. "Don't say that to yourself. It takes a great Don to come out from all these setbacks. You have to keep in mind that you never had a moment to grieve the death of your father and many problems just keeps arising. Shit, I probably would have lost my damn mind if I were you. But you're handling it even better than I would have."
"I've lost both my parents too," he continues, "and back then I wasn't able to grieve properly and I've learned now that if you don't properly grieve a death, especially your own father...It can cause a detrimental toll on your mind and body. But especially to you who is already struggling with mental health and adding to the fact that the life of the girl you love is on the line and any second can be sent to jail and potentially lose her forever...that's just a lot to handle."
