𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬: The Trilogy

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈: Chapter 52

|| A Year Without Rain ||
Can you feel me when I think about you?
  With every breath I take
  Every minute, no matter what I do
  My world is an empty place...
_______________________
♣ ♢ ♛ ♢ ♠

[Y/n's POV]

It's been two weeks now, and I still have yet to leave this room.

I realized the one important thing I should have brought with me was my pink bunny plushie. I didn't care about leaving all my things behind, all that mattered was that pink bunny but I don't know if I'd ever get it back. And I really wouldn't have remembered to bring it with me considering how fucked up that night was—sometimes it felt so surreal.

How can any human being be that cruel?

But it's whatever. It's over now.

All day, all night, I sat at the balcony, looking out onto the streets and sky. I found out, I was in the Gangnam district of Seoul, which is south of the Han River.

No wonder why everything was so upscale and luxurious. If you step out of this neighbourhood, I think it should lead you out onto the main street. Where all the famous and rich people are, shopping and dining in those expensive places. I hated everything about the Gangnam area. Expensive. Exclusive. Elite. Snobby rich people.

Today, I had sat in the balcony from sunrise, until sunset. I had seen high-school couples walking around in their uniform, and married rich couples parking their expensive cars to walk out into the main street.

I can't help but envy them. I felt like I was being taunted. They all seem to be in-love, living life normally and having fun, with no care in the world. I wanted that. Normal.

I haven't really spoken with anyone. I stayed trapped in my own thoughts. Rethinking everything about life. But everyday, Jimin came in to check up on me, and reminded me to relax and that there's no pressure, and that whenever I'm ready to talk, he was all ears. But I wasn't ready yet. I still kept quiet. I wanted to recollect myself first.

Jimin had gotten me a journal and suggested to write my thoughts or anything I felt like expressing. He also got me a drawing pad with pencils to draw if I wanted too. He was the most kindest person I met, since...Taehyung. The thought of him makes me want to cry. I missed him. He was the bestest friend to me. I hope he's doing okay.

I've made use of the journal in writing all my emotions down. I would sob writing every word down that I was feeling. It surprisingly had helped me out. I tried drawing, but it reminded me of Jungkook. He secretly loved to draw.

~🥀~

We were in bed.

Jungkook was sitting down with his iPad and Apple Pencil on his hand, while I was reading a book, laying my head on his lap. I took a peek out of my book, and took a glimpse of him, scribbling the pencil on his iPad. He seemed to be so focused on whatever he was writing. I never really checked, because I had always assumed it was just business work.

Jungkook truly was so handsome, I thought to myself, as I stare up at him in admiration.

How was I so lucky to be with him...This man, could have chosen any girl he wanted, but he chose me...

I had always wondered why, since there was nothing special about me. But in that moment, I realized that behind his cold demeanour, he really is just someone who needs love. Once you surpass his cold personality, he was truly a sweet and loving person.

He seem so innocent, at that moment. So normal...like some college boy doing his assignment.

When I realized how into he was, writing on his iPad, I quickly put my book down and took a quick  glimpsed of it.

I gasped when I realized what he was doing this whole time.

He was drawing. It was a drawing of me.

"Hey, why did you look?!" He said, as he quickly pulled his iPad away.

"Oh my god, you draw?" I gushed. "You draw so amazing. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well uh..yeah...kind of." He said, looking shy, as he scratched the back of his head.

"You better not tell the boys. This can end me." He said, crossing his arms, but he couldn't help but laugh.

I laughed along with him.

I grabbed the iPad back from his hand and looked at the drawing again. I was in awed of how detailed he drew me. And I didn't even know that he was so

"Ok, enough of that." He took the iPad away from me and placed it onto the bedside table. "Let's have some fun."

He started kissing me, as he pushed me down onto the bed, then grabbed the blanket over us.

~🥀~

I'm missing him so much. I just can't help it. The days without seeing him had felt like a year without rain.

My heart just ached with that sudden memory. But I told myself, I had to stop thinking about him.

I continued on, writing all my thoughts everyday. I had felt better each time I finished writing. It felt like a lot of weight just flew off my shoulders.

Ever since then, I feel more at peace. I feel different. I feel like I'm better. I had a better head space and able to think better.

That's when I realized, what I just had to do. What was best for me...

I was ready to leave everything behind, and ready to move on. I realize how toxic the relationship was. He was toxic. His whole life is toxic, in itself. The way he treated me was like treason. All he ever did was lie to me, never caring about my feelings. He even forged an entire wedding, making me think we were married. He had the chance to admit to me that he was a mafia boss that day I had asked, and he didn't. He looked me dead in the eyes and lied to me.

He betrayed me in many ways and I don't think I will ever forgive him.

I've been with him for about two years now, and married for a year and a half. I've endured too much in those two years with him. His explosive episodes. His jealousy. His aggressive nature. His lies. His un-loyalty.

I want to just forget about my past. Forget that stupid me, who always found the good in people. The one that always forgives. The one who tries to make everyone happy, even if it means sacrificing my own happiness. The one that had let everyone walk all over me.

I want to forget about that life. I want to forget about him.

This will be tough, but this is the only way to move forward in my life.

As much as it hurts...I need to find the good in goodbye.