Leather Kisses

Leather Kisses. 10

"Dean, please, it's okay."

After school, I told Dean about the intervention I had with Blake in the library. However, I made the crucial decision to leave out what Blake had said about Dean; just in case it was a false accusation that would only create more, unnecessary drama. Besides, how was I supposed to know if Blake was telling the truth or trying to mess with me?

"No, Riley, it's not. He can't do that to you," Dean said. "I knew it was a bad idea to leave you."

"Dean, you can't always watch and protect me . . . I'm going to have to do some things on my own," I said, asserting my independence.

Yes, I couldn't deny that I needed Dean's help. But I was trying to change, trying to be strong - fully depending on somebody else was the opposite of what I was aiming for.

"I know, I just worry."

We were walking to the junior parking lot, when an army of strongly built men blocked our path. The football jocks circled around us, as Blake stepped forward from the pack.

Dean grabbed my waist, and pulled himself in front of me, blocking me off from Blake.

"Isn't this cute? The rebellious, dimwitted delinquent protecting the modest, insecure brainiac." Blake clapped his hands together in a slow rhythm, while the jocks laughed in unison. "What an unconventional pair."

"Get out of our way," Dean growled.

"Tempting offer . . ." Blake rubbed his chin. "But I think I'm going to take a pass."

Anger and hatred pulsed through my veins. The pain he had caused me started to rebuild inside of me, growing stronger as the memories fled back.

"You're an asshole! What you did to me makes you a sick, worthless, ignorant pig! I hate you, do you hear me, I hate you!"

Sobbing, I lunged forward, trying to claw at his face and give him a taste of his own medicine. But Dean wrapped his arms around my waist, and held me back.

"It's not worth it, don't sink to his level," Dean cooed in my ear. "Let's just go."

"Not so fast," Blake ordered, snapping his fingers at the jocks, causing them close off the gaps. "It appears the tough guy doesn't want to fight us. Do I sense fear?"

"No, it's just not a fair fight," Dean said, scanning the six football players that faced us.

"And what will your excuse be when your Black Knights are standing beside you?"

Dean quickly looked at me, his eyes filled with panic.

"There won't be one," he murmured to Blake. Dean lightly tugged on my arm, and pushed through the blockade. "Let's go, Riley."

Dean stormed forward, desperate to get farther and farther away. I lingered a few steps behind him, slowly processing everything that had happened. But as much as I thought about it, I couldn't seem to understand it at all. I was lost, confused, dumbfounded, just like Blake had said.

"Dean," I called to him, stopped in my tracks. "What's going on? What was Blake talking about? What was all of that Black Knight stuff?"

Dean slowly turned around, and hung his head down. He walked towards me, his combat boots crunching in the gravel.

"It's nothing . . . just forget about it," Dean murmured.

"Dean, please, whatever it is, you can tell me," I assured, the desire to know filling me up.

"You wouldn't understand . . ." Dean shook his head and turned on his heel. I could feel he was pulling away from me as he continued walking steps ahead of me.

"Try me," I whispered. "I opened up to you. I can't imagine it's any worse than what you know about me."

Dean whipped his head around and looked at me with exasperated eyes. "Riley, I said forget about it," he snapped, with fiery frustration in his voice.

Fear silenced me. I had never seen Dean get so . . . angry.

Dumbfounded for words, I followed him to the bike without commenting.

The ride home felt longer than usual. I did my best to do as he asked and forget about it. But the thought lingered in my head, no matter how hard I tried to push it out. I was not only completely baffled and lost in confusion, but I was slightly hurt. In a way, I felt foolish for opening up to him thinking that he could do the same. I felt naked and vulnerable, while Dean was protected by the clothing of his secrets.

For being the smartest girl in school, I felt like the biggest idiot in the world.

"Are we okay?" Dean asked, opening the front door for me.

I nodded, uneasily. "I mean . . . I suppose."

Dean lowered his eyes at me in disbelief. "You know, you're a terrible liar."

I took a deep breath. "Well to be honest, I think it's pretty unfair that you know everything about me," I admitted before lowering my voice. "And I know nothing about you."

Dean reached out, put his hands on arms and leaned in a bit closer. "You know everything you need to know about me, Riley. Everything else is unimportant."

Keeping my gaze steady, I replied: "This whole Black Knight thing seems pretty important."

Dean let go, and took a step back while letting out a heavy sigh. "It is and it isn't. But I promise, you'll know soon, when the time is right. I won't leave you in the dark."

"Why is now not the right time?" I asked, with an impatient tone.

One of my biggest pet peeves was not knowing all of the answers. I guess that's why I always pushed myself in school to study for exams until I knew the material like the back of my hand.

"Because it's been a long day for both of us," he murmured. "And right now, the last thing you need is one more thing to worry about."

I looked up at him with puzzled eyes. "Is this something I should be worried about?"

He gave me a sweet, half smile. "No, never. And you will know. Soon. I promise," Dean murmured.

I let out a sigh, taking a minute to process this. There was nothing more to be said about this; it was what it was and I just had to accept that. All I could do was wait for him to be ready.

"Okay," I eventually whispered.

His half smile turned into a toothy grin. "Hey, if you agree to go out with me on Saturday night, I'll tell you then."

Baffled that the conversation had taken a complete 180 degree turn, I cocked my head to the side. "What?"

Dean ran a nervous hand through his dark hair, and began to stammer a bit. "I've got tickets to see The Shins . . . I don't know if you like them, but I think it would be fun to do something different for once. Plus, we both could use the distraction. And hey, you like music and stuff so maybe you'd like to go with me . . ."

"As friends?" I blurted out, immediately regretting the question.

Dean's voice dropped slightly as his smile faded. "Yeah sure . . . if you want."

"Okay," I said, taking awkward pauses. Not trying to read too much into it, I simply said: "Sounds fun."

"Yeah?" He asked, slightly doubting himself.

"Yeah."

"Okay, cool," Dean replied, scratching the back of his neck.

We exchanged awkward glances, both of us still a bit uneasy from the previous conversation. I don't think either of us knew what the hell we were doing. But maybe it was better to not give it a second thought, just move on and say fuck it all.

"Well, I should probably get home. I'll see you tomorrow," Dean murmured, before walking down my driveway.

I watched him for a few moments, then proceeded to find my house keys. I closed the front door after opening it, then slowly slid down to floor, trying to process everything.

Why couldn't life just be easy?