Chapter 11

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SARAH’S POV

            Sleepily my eyes blinked open, giving me the obvious realization that I was no longer in Justin’s room. Panic flooded through me, causing my heart to race as I searched the room. Almost instantly my eyes locked on Dr. Bennett who was sitting calmly in the chair beside my bed with a soft, yet delighted look on her face. “Good morning Sarah.” She said happily as I kept a strong gaze on her. I nodded unsure of what to say. “Did you have a nice sleep?” she asked comfortingly, keeping her distance in the chair. I nodded nervously, gripping my hands together and picking anxiously at the bandage. What’s wrong with me? I wondered, as my body continued to shake. With a confused look on her face, Dr. Bennett cocked her head to the side, causing her bangs to fall in front of her glasses. She looked so harmless and delicate; like there was no way she could hurt me. After all one swat to the face, hard enough to knock off her thick glasses and she was blind. She was very thin, not muscular or big enough to held me down. There was almost nothing about her that could pose a threat to me… So why does every move she makes make me flinch?  I couldn’t rid the fact that at any moment Daddy or someone worse could jump out and she could just be a decoy. Something could go wrong and I’d hate myself if I let myself become unprepared. “Sarah are you alright?” she asked gently, giving a light smile. I cringed and nodded, crossing my arms over my chest.

            “I’m fine.” I stated bluntly, avoiding eye contact.

            “Alright.” She smiled, standing up and adjusting her glasses. “Now that you’re awake would you please come with me?” She asked, outstretching her hand in front of me.

            I stared warily at her hand for a moment then at her. “Why?”

            “Honey you’ve been through a lot and I know this is scary for you, but we need to give you a rape kit to make sure.” She said calmly, hoping I’d proceed without protest.

            With a confused expression, I looked up at her. “Make sure of what?” We both paused for a second in silence until another question hit me. “What’s rape?” I asked, noticing her eyes widen with my question. Taking in what I’d asked her, her look softened. Taking in a deep breath, she sat beside me on the bed; causing my grip to clench on the gown they’d put me in.

            “Sarah rape is when a man or woman farces themselves on you when you want to refuse.” She spoke as though she’d said it many times. I looked over to her slowly with her eyes already fixed on me. I looked away almost instantly and clenched my hands tighter, comprehending what she’d told me. “He did this to you didn’t he Sarah?” she asked, looking at the bruises along my legs. I just shook, unable to respond; I was too busy trying to catch my breath. “This is why you keep flinching away form me isn’t it?” she asked, a pained tone creeping into her gentle voice. Tears began to fill my eyes, but the more I tried to wipe them away, the more they came. Every time I rubbed my eyes visions of Daddy appeared. No mater how hard I tried I couldn’t lose the thought of him and knowing that what he did had a name only seems to make it worse. Feeling my lip tremble, I tried to speak, but no words were coming out. Continuously I shook my head, trying to stop myself though it wouldn’t work. “Sarah this-“

            “He did it to Justin too didn’t he?” I cut her off, almost certain of the answer. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her nod, nearly ripping my heart in half. “I let him do that.” I choked, hardly able to speak anymore. “I let him hurt Justin. I should have helped him…” I mumbled through gasps of breath.  How could I have been so stupid? How could I not have seen it? I scolded repeatedly.

            Suddenly, Dr. Bennett took my hand tightly in hers and looked me straight in the eyes. “Sarah listen to me.” She ordered, taking my face in her hand, making me look at her. “This isn’t your fault. None of it is your fault. It was out of your control; Sweety you’re just a little girl. Neither you nor Justin could have prevented this. Do you hear me?” Without a second thought, I fell forward into Dr. Bennett’s shoulder and gasped for breath. I didn’t know why I did and I almost instantly regretted it, but at the moment Justin was gone and I needed someone, anyone. Moments later I felt her arms wrap around me, and despite everything I still flinched away. What’s wrong with me? “ You’ve been so brave and so strong for your whole life. You’ve had to deal with more than anyone should in your lifetime. Just let us protect you now okay?” I leaned away from her and wiped my eye without saying anything. Looking down at my bruises, I took an even breath. “You’re never going to see him again.“ She assured my as if reading my mind, outstretching her hand to me. I nodded and stood up shakily, still not willing to take her hand.

            Limply I followed her out of the room and down the many halls once more. The whole time her words ran through my head. I’m never going to see him again…I thought warily. Though she’d said them so happily and I knew they should be… Somehow those words were more haunting than anything at the moment.

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