All Things Considered [🗸]

13. post-cayden syndrome

THERE'S A FEELING OF EUPHORIA you have when you finally disentangle yourself from a stressful-ass relationship, one that disappears as soon as you see said person move on in seconds, like you're that disposable.

When the back of my head hits my locker, I hold my supplies to my chest as my eyes briefly rest on them: Devin and Cayden. They're walking through the hallway, close enough for their shoulders to brush. 

Cayden's laughing, but his smile falters once his eyes land on mine. The air feels frigid. It's strange. After breaking up, I'd never considered the possibility of us being that type of breakup. The type of break-up where the energy between us is cold.

I've never had that type of break-up with anyone before now. And it's not like my dating history is extensive. But when Ximena and I had broken up and realized that we were far better as friends than we were as boyfriend and girlfriend. 

But there wasn't this wall between us after we weren't together anymore. We just melted back into friendship. Simple. With Cayden, not so much.

So, when his pale eyes meet mine, Devin Simmons completely oblivious to our eye-contact—I'm not all too sure what to think. All I know is that Mama always taught me to hold a stare. And so, that's what I do.

We end up glancing away at the same time. The atmosphere feels so thick, and in moments, Devin and Cayden are gone. When they're out of sight, I allow my shoulders to fall as I exhale.

This is infinitely more difficult than I thought it'd be. 

I turn around, opening my locker and rummaging through my supplies. It's not that I thought the break-up would be easy, but I never accounted for Devin Simmons being added to the equation.

I can't tell whether Cayden genuinely likes Devin or is partially hanging out with him to prove some point to me: that he can move on. I shut my locker, running a hand through my curls. 

All of this poses the question of whether or not I can move on. 

Shaking my head, I make a lazy attempt to push all my thoughts to the back of my mind. I make a turn down the hallway, and walking in the opposite direction of me are Ainsley and Maia. 

As per usual, Maia's arm is slung around Ainsley's waist. The two of them are absolutely godess-esque, Ainsley's vibrant outfit complementing Maia's monochrome one. Somehow, they always match and posses a natural balance toward each other. 

A pungent thought slips into my mind. I don't think Cayden and I ever had that.

"Hey," I say, plowing on before I have the time to stop myself. "Check in?" I ask Ainsley, who comes to a halt in front of me alongside Maia. 

Her eyes soften as they meet mine and Maia, glancing between the two of us, swiftly moves to give Ainsley a kiss on her shoulder, waving goodbye to the two of us. "I'll meet you in the car, alright?" she's saying to Ainsley, and Ainsley nods in response, fingers moving in a slight wave.