All Things Considered [🗸]

25. blue skies

KISSING PAXTON IRVING is somewhat natural.

At this moment in time, I'm seated on Paxton's floor, him leaning forward and searching my face before gently pressing his lips against mine. All the rules are being broken, but at this moment I can't seem to care.

It's easy with Paxton. Until now, we've rarely ever been on the same page about much. But with his lips carefully finding mine at this moment in time, we're in sync.

Our sides are pressed against each other. Paxton's hand carefully grazes my jaw, and mine travels through his hair. And then we pull apart, still close enough to feel the other person's soft breaths. Paxton's lips curve upwards and my eyes drift away from him.

Not like I'm keeping count, but this is the third time we've kissed. We're hesitant every time we lean in, because as soon as are lips touch, we're venturing into uncharted territory. It's scary as fuck.

Our first kiss was the day before yesterday, and I spent the day in between taking far too long to respond to Paxton's messages out of absolute overthinking and nerves. Paxton invited me over again today, and our first few minutes was filled with occasional glances and hesitant conversation.

Glancing over at me with a soft smile that makes heat rise to my face, Paxton slips his phone out of his pocket. He's likely playing a farming game, and my shoulder brushes against his as I hear the sound of a notification from my own phone.

Slipping it out of my pocket, I take in the screen, my heart getting stuck in my throat once I see who it's from.

Cayden McCarthy.

His name feels strange on my screen, because we haven't texted in at least three months. Now, out of the blue, he's sending me messages. In an instant, I feel myself stiffen as my eyes flick down to what the message says.

My eyes flicker over the words as I read the message, pursing my lips. Cayden is asking me if Paxton and I are together. It's sort of intrusive, because really, it's none of his business. Even when we aren't together anymore, he still feels obligated to know what I'm doing with my life. 

And despite the fact that I fake-dated Paxton to prove something to Cayden in the first place— I don't feel like telling him anything. So, I leave Cayden McCarthy on read for the first time in my life.

I slip my phone into my pocket, Paxton's eyes flicking over to me from where he's sitting. I don't know why we can never sit on sofas or his bed like normal, fully-functioning human beings. Paxton's mouth opens as though he's about to say something, but he's interrupted by his name being called out from somewhere downstairs.

A door opens and shuts at around the same time, and Paxton meets my eyes, saying, "my parents are here."

My eyes widen as Paxton rises to his feet. If anything, his parents likely hate me, if Paxton has told them anything about our long-standing beef.