She's not afraid (One Direction/Selena Gomez)

chapter 23

The past two hours of the drive passed in about the same fashion; thin layers of fog filing my vision, as I'm staring out of a car window, deep in thoughts. I hear Zayn and Harry prattle about their job, though I don't try to keep up. Throughout my splintered heart throbbed out an aching beat, as their words of rejection repeating itself over and over, never ceasing.

...How can I be so stupid to let them do this to me? They pull close just enough, so that I'm enchanted by them, than push back so far that I'm left with cracks in my soul and icy heart. So why shouldn't I turn the table and be the one to pull close enough to satisfy my bitterness, then push away to feel powerful? But what if all this is just my imagination, and they never even wanted me?...No! I have to focus! I can't afford to be like that! From now on I'll just distance myself from Harry and Zayn...I have to, before I'd lose my sanity, and I should find another husband. Beside in this world there is no place for self-pity, because it makes you weak and vulnerable...Yes, I'll just repress whatever feelings I have for them! I think it's a good plan, hopefully I can stick to it...

Harry's phone captures my attention, my eyes sharply turn at his direction. I listen intently, my eyebrows furrowing, though all I can hear is Harry's occasional respond: boss and yes boss. The phone call is short, and it seems that has angered Harry, because his whole body stiffened.

"What's going on?" I questioned hesitantly.

From that angle I'm at, I can see Harry's jaw clenched. He briefly glances to Zayn and mutters lowly: "We need to attend the meeting, and Juliet was requested."

At that information I frown: "What kind of meeting?" I keep my voice soft.

Harry sighs heavily and explains: "Fucking old Tarantino wants to talk with her father and he requested Juliet's presence." His eyes flash to the rearview mirror, meeting my eyes: "Your father thinks it would benefit you, so you should consider this as a part of your training."

I nod and bit my bottom lip. Suddenly I gasp and my eyes widen: "Oh no! I don't have nothing to wear!"

Zayn and Harry chuckle, my eyes snap at the back of their heads, but staying quiet. "You're about to walk into death trap and all you worry is what to wear?" Zayn asked with chuckling voice.

I huff: "Well yeah! Because I have to look like I'm a bad ass!" I said a bit gruffly. Zayn's shoulders tensed at my tone, stirring guilt in the pit of my stomach, though I decline that feeling. They only shake with their heads.

...Oh great, what should I do now? Like I have a choice...I'll just have to work with attire I have on. Maybe I can find red lipstick in my bag?...

Instantly I pull the black bag on my lap, look in it and with my hands fishing for something useful. I came upon some make up, even a scarf that I forgot I had and on my luck red lipstick is in there too. I smile to myself contently and once more stare out of the window, but scenery doesn't hold my attention; it appears too gloomy.

Long hour later Harry parked the car in front of some four stars hotel, its wall was strangled with ivy. I step out of the car and feel the tiny drops of rain about me, which makes me shiver in cold. The dark clouds over the sky cheated my eyes for it seems to be an evening rather than early in the afternoon.

When Louis, Liam and Niall came to our side, we rush into the hotel in search for the cover from drizzle. The lobby was brightly lit, and I blink few times to adapt my eyes. We halt in the middle of small lobby that have only one staff member. Harry parted from us and approaches a middle aged woman behind the reception desk. To avoid meeting Zayn's eyes I glance around the classy space. The colours were in the palate of autumn forest, every hue from the orange leaves to the rich soil underneath. Plants in the corners with their greenish hues completed the colour scheme. The deep brown floor shone as well as any polished glass; it almost makes you feel sorry to step on it.