She's not afraid (One Direction/Selena Gomez)

chapter 12

"I'll tell you, but you have to know, that the whole thing was my fault...since you already know how it started, I'll skip to the party," I pause, folding my hands upon my crossed legs before me.

The absolute silence in the room has put me on edge, in that void of sound their anticipation seems as sharp as dog's fangs. To keep my brain intact and full on running, I drop my eyes, because it is easier to avoid their searching gazes.

I clear my throat and proceed, "well, I...we...basically...at that one party, one of his friends told me about the bet. When I heard about it, I was so mad at Tyler. I was angry and disappointed, so I've confronted him about the entire thing. And because he was already a bit drunk, it was easy to get the whole truth from him." I shake my head, scoffing at myself, and with fresh draught of air speak again: "I broke up with him then and there. And didn't even bother to listen his pathetic apologies...That night I went home alone, heartbroken and angry. I was mostly angry at myself because I believed him, I believed him when he said that he loved me, what a joke." I chuckle humorlessly, "I loved him, I really have, but he broke my heart, betrayed my trust."

My breath hitched, images I fought so hard to bury deep in the dark corner of my mind, now oozing out, threatening my sanity. A hand rests on my shoulder, I sharply turn to what has grasped my attention. My eyes widening at the sight of Zayn's opened eyes.

"Zayn..." I said breathlessly. At the sight my heart quickened its pace. Joy came to me and I feel it pass through me like a warm sea wave, washing away the stress of the day. I scramble upon my knees, completly facing him, as I exclaim: "You're awake!" Small smile builds to my lips and hope burning in me again.

His tired eyes blazing, angry mood seems to be on him: "Sorry love for interrupting you, please continue." His voice was scratchy and weak.

I shake my head, as my eyes study his pale face, but as I look closely the faint color tints his skin. "How are you feeling? Do you need anything?" Zayn interjects: "Juliet! I'm fine."

I bit my bottom lip, to contain my excited speech that wish to pour out of me like an avalanche. Once more I open my mouth, because the thrill of everything is too great for me to keep it in, but this time Harry interrupts: "Juliet! Don't you see he's fine! Now, tell us the rest!" His tone was harsh, cold even. My eyes snap across to him, his glare sucked something out of me, his eyes are so icy that stopped my heart, killing my smile. My gaze fall to the floor, as I sit back down and cross my legs with my back against the sofa. Silence which brought heaviness into the air covered us like a thick blanket. Gently I pull Zayn's hand over my shoulder to play with his fingers before me.

I sigh and proceed weakly: "That night he came to my house, because he wanted to make it all right. He apologized, begged, and gave me countless promises. My pain was fresh and it was too soon for me to even consider forgiving him. I didn't want to bugged, beside he was drunk, so I simply didn't believe a word he said. I was so stupid, because I knew that he was drunk, and I knew how he gets in that state. I've seen his intoxicated violent side...I should have just listen, kept my mouth shut." My voice has suddenly stucked in my throat, because tears welled up in my eyes, and slowly roll down.

Zayn squeezes my hand in attempt to soothe me. With my free hand I furiously wipe at unwanted tears, and swallow them down, covering up my deep sorrows. I sniffle and go to speak: "Never before he lost his temper with me. Yeah sure there were few rough grabs or hateful words, but nothing that I didn't deserve. He never before was." I stop, because the memory is painful and I'm ashamed of it. Zayn tightens his grip.

Liam says kindly: "Juliet, you don't..." my eyes instantly fly up to him, ceasing his words with mine: "Liam it's okay," I inhale deeply, drop my eyes, mumbling: "I was so afraid. He was so angry because I didn't want him back...He...umm...he actually beat me up so bad, that I lost consciousness. Next morning I woke up in the same spot. He just left me there." I faintly huff at the memory, "the entire day I tried to ignore the pain, but at the end I went into the hospital...He broke my ribs." I shake my head, I'm between anger, shame and sadness, those dark thoughts are the biggest enemy to my emotions.