Lilac || KTH Fanfic

Chapter 13: Let Me Know

I thought to give him a letter to ask him to come to the rooftop during the lunch break.

"Taehyung, do you have an eraser? Lend me one," 

"Yeah, sure."

He gave me a black colored eraser. Even the eraser's fragrance was sweet just like him. I gave it back to him. And I attached a tiny piece of paper with the cover of that eraser before giving it back. I didn't know why I wasn't scared of reviling my untold feelings that day. 

"Meet me at the rooftop during lunch break," that's what I wrote in that tiny piece of paper.

I saw him reading that. He looked at me giving an okay sign with his hand gesture after finishing what I wrote.

.

"You reap what you sow," yeah, this saying was real for me. At least that day I learned my lesson.

Soon enough the bell rang giving my heart an unbearable beating of nervousness. Every step that I took was leading me to my everlasting dream. My dream was to confess my real feelings without any hesitation. But I was scared to be rejected. I was scared to be abandoned. Still, one can't go against their heart. My hidden emotions were becoming arrows day by day, piercing my heart little by little. It became so hard to resist. It became so hard to refuse what my heart tells me to do. If I go back in time, I will still do the same.

 I don't regret what I did that day...

"Why did you call me here? We could've talked in our classroom while eating lunch." He asked me while  brushing his hair with one of his hands while the other hand was in his pocket.

"Ahhh , I ha.....I've something to tell you," I responded while I couldn't look straight at his eyes as my heart was beating so rashly and I was so embarrassed. I held that lilac with two of my hands.

"What is it?"

"I-I-I,, I lik.......I like you! Will you accept my feelings?" Finally, I said that out. My hands were trembling. I held my hands out as I wanted him to accept the lilac which was in my grip. 

But he didn't took it......

"Oh, I don't like you."

He said with a cold voice. I knew it. I knew that he didn't like me. But still, how can he say something so rashly? He could've comforted me a little, I knew he wouldn't accept my feelings. But why my heart is aching right now? Did I except something from him?

"You're probably thinking why I rejected you without sugarcoating, right? Well, I don't have feelings for you. So, why do I need to sugarcoat the truth? You're really troublesome. I just showed a little affection as you were my friend and now you're telling me that you like me?"

"How? How can you be so cruel?"

"Well, I'm not like other people. I speak straightforwardly. That's my personality. Like it or not, I don't really care."

"Why do you not like me? Please tell me... Please, Let me know," I don't know why I wasn't crying that day. I can't even remember when was the last time that I cried. Where do those tears go? I wonder.

"You're just not on my level," He walked away after saying the most cruelest sentence that I ever heard in my life. My whole body froze hearing that sentence. 

Life is full of hardships. It teaches us many thing by letting us experience the  cruelest reality.

He walked away...

And I'm standing still at that place while that sentence was echoing in my ear.