Leave it Unread

Chapter 3

"So, what do you think?" Kathleen presses, squeezing my shoulder as she takes the phone out of my hands. For a second, everything feels frozen--my hands, my fixation on the ground, the overall mood of impending apocalyptic (okay, I'm being dramatic) doom. 

"Uh, he looks..." My eyes watch an army of ants tackle a piece of a monster cookie on the ground. I can't look at Kathleen because, for once, I can't form words for the life of me. If I look at her, then the warning lights in my head will ultimately decide to be flash with my commitment to her love life. "SHE'S IN LOVE" is written in Times New Roman with red lights flashing behind it. The mind really is a cruel part of our bodies.

"He looks...?" I look up to see her smiling foolishly at her phone, zooming in on his smile. I feel a pang of aggravation settle in my stomach, the fact that Kathleen could have anyone in the world but, of course, Ben Jacobs is the one who decides to swipe right.

"He looks great, K. Totally your type." My mouth betrays me as I shakily press my hand to my mouth, urging it to, for once, be on my side.

"Noey!" She squeals, squeezing me tightly as she pulls up the message he had sent her. A flow of questions fill my brain:

1. When did they match? He didn't have his phone out during orientation, so it must have been before. And if it's before, does that mean he was just looking for a good time?

2. If he's looking for a good time, then that means he really is just one of those guys. 

3. If he just matched with Kathleen, that means he completely disregarded whatever rom-com-novel-esque chemistry we had.

Then again, chemistry is almost always in my head. I fell in love last year with the Trader Joe's cashier when he complimented my blouse. It was covered in colorful outlines of books and we got to talking about our favorite novels. Next thing I knew, I was eating Cauliflower Gnocchi all alone, crying when he complimented the girl in front of me on her shoes. They were black flats.

She shows me the message he had sent, my eyes reading and re-reading his "hey cutie :)" in a blue bubble.

My heart sinks a bit as I try to remind myself that I just met this guy less than twenty minutes ago and I was already feeling my chest becoming heavy at the thought that Kathleen, yet again, gets a dream guy.

"I'm going to message him back, Noey!" I groan at the nickname that completely belittles me to a simple sidekick of Kathleen's. "What should I say?" 

"Kathleen, don't you think you should play the field a bit? It's a few days before the semester starts, and there are so many-"

"Noelle. What do I say to him?" She shakes off my apprehension as she pulls up the keyboard on her phone.

"Uh... how about 'Cutie? Come on, I'm a little more sour than a cutie ;)'" 

"Ah, that's perfect! You're a natural flirt, Noey." She sends the message quickly and clutches to her phone as she presses it to her chest, looking at me with the admiration I've always longed for from my best friend.

"He's a football player, and I heard he's so popular on campus! We'd be a power couple. What do you think his major is? He sounds like a doctor, don't you think? Biochem?" 

I zone out as Kathleen keeps questioning aspects of Ben I feel like I already know. How he's majoring in English. How he's a poet who completely hates how his image makes him synonymous with less worth academically. How he calls me Barrymore after one comment, showing just how much of a good listener he is. How he's going to fall for Kathleen as quickly as she's fallen for him.

***

"Honey, just be careful, okay? Carry your pepper spray and don't, any under circumstances, go to those parties alone. Especially with just Kathleen."