Leave it Unread

Chapter 20

It's Sunday morning and my dad's in the kitchen cooking up breakfast when my phone buzzes on my vanity. I'm tying up my hair when I see the name on the screen: Kathleen.

I shakily press the accept call button when I hear her soft laugh come through the other end.

"Hello?" I say, ensuring I don't press my luck by sounding like I want to rip out her throat.

"You're really avoiding our dorm room? Wow, Noey, you must really want Ben to not know." 

"It's nine in the morning. Do you really want to discuss this at nine in the morning?" I roll my eyes as I balance my phone between my shoulder and my jaw, taking a deep breath when I hear her laugh again.

"I was just calling to see if you'd send me screenshots from the app. What did you two talk about last night after I told you he left our dorm?"

Oh, what we talked about. Ben's messages were vague, which I assume was how his words were when he was with Kathleen last night. I'd pressed him for information, stories of his childhood, anything that could grant me release from Kathleen, but his answers were always short. "A pretty standard childhood," he had said. "I really want to go to a slam poetry meeting sometime." When I read that message, I had encouraged him, but his answers were still short.

"He seemed pretty tired, I'll send you screenshots." 

"Then try harder, Noelle. I want to be at that game on Friday and I want him to think of me the entire time."

"And you think my words in place of yours will get that for you?" I get up and close my bedroom door when I hear my dad call my name. "Why can't you just take over? Say you changed your number and give him your real one. You want me far away from Ben, well-"

"Oh, Noelle," she starts, and I can just imagine her painting her nails as we talk. "I want you nowhere near him, but you two have class together. And let's not forget that your nose is so far up those trashy novels, you have just the right level of spice to capture him with your words. How you do it, I don't care, just do it."

She hangs up the phone and I feel tears brim my eyes. Before I can feel the bubbling in my chest, I take a deep breath and go downstairs.

***

Ben's POV:

I want her. I need her. And I don't know how the hell I've managed to mess it up this badly. I don't know how the hell I've managed to grasp Noelle and then immediately lose her.

Let me hold you.

I'd wiped away her tears and held her as close as she would ever let me, and I felt like in that moment I'd gained her. I'd finally gotten the one thing I've wanted for myself, the one person no one pushed me to move towards. 

And here I was, on a Sunday morning, dealing with a crisis that I'd made.

The night at the restaurant had set me on fire, watching Adam's hands roam over Noelle. At first, she'd seemed out of place, like she had no idea how to respond. Every squeeze of her hand had led her eyes to set on mine and every time his arm wrapped around her shoulder, a breath hitched in her throat as my eyes immediately went to her lips.

And then she asked to be excused. And I followed. And she fell apart and I gathered her up. And then we got interrupted by someone who desperately needed to use the restroom. 

I'm replaying that night in my head, where it all went wrong, and it's the moment I was captured by Kathleen telling me that she really admired writers. That she really wanted to read my writing sometime. 

Damn it, Jacobs.

I had gone from holding Noelle in my arms to completely disregarding her, fixated on Kathleen who had done nothing but be a complete jerk to Noelle the entire time during dinner. But it's so rare that I come across people who want to ask about my writing, ask about my interests, and after one date with Kathleen, she had only talked about herself. This time was different.

And when this was unfolding, Adam had swooped in and tried again and Noelle had fallen for it.

Maybe a part of me was trying to make Noelle jealous, but I had subconsciously picked the wrong moment to do that. I had promised her that this little game of hating me would play out in my favor, but to do so right after a breakdown was so very wrong of me. 

I bury my head in my hands as I groan when I hear my dorm room door knock, getting up to unlock it. I see Kathleen standing in front of me with two coffee's and I feel an unfamiliar feeling settle deep in my chest. 

Noelle knows your coffee order. B&B special.

"Hi, handsome. I was wondering if you wanted to..."

She's staring at my chest, then the rest of my body. I realize in this moment that I'm only wearing joggers and I don't even bother flushing red. 

"Wanted to what?" I ask. 

"Are you alright? You seem a bit..." 

"Yeah," I shake off all my thoughts and throw her a smile. "Yeah, just tired. Big game on Friday and I just... Am stressing about it."

"Nonsense, you'll do just fine." She sounds just like my mother, in the way that always warranted an eye roll. Stressed? It's fine! Did you break your thumb and need months of physical therapy? It's fine!

"Right." I open the door as she rushes in, leaning forward to kiss me on my cheek. I smile forcefully and head to my room to throw on a shirt.

"I don't think that's necessary." She whispers. I freeze in my spot and turn around slowly. Before I can respond, I feel my phone buzz in my pocket multiple times.

When I look down, a confused look paints my face.

Kathleen Jones:

Do you ever feel like no one knows who you really are? And if they knew, they'd completely pick you apart?

What are your plans today?

If I keep asking deeply philosophical questions, will you tell me your deepest secrets? ;)

"What's wrong?" Kathleen asks, coming over to wrap her arms around my torso. I freeze again as I show her my phone screen.

"Why are you texting me when you're very clearly not texting me?"

***

AN:

A mini chapter, I know! But I want to keep you on your toes ;) I'll upload chapter 21 if we can get to TEN comments on what you think will happen next!