Leave it Unread

Chapter 14

How did Ben get into our dorm if Kathleen isn't here? Unless she was here and she went to shower. Or went to grab a handful of condoms (I would know--she stole a bunch from my dad's office when we were seniors in high school. My dad never asked about it.)

"How did you get in here?" I'm grasping the handle of the door like it'll ease the tension, like it'll make Ben's pressed lips turn into a devilish smirk like it always does, but it doesn't. He looks serious.

"Kathleen, uh..." He scratches the back of his head like he always does when he's at a loss for words. Just knowing that makes me want to roll my eyes. "She let me in, but then got called to some meeting at a sorority? She told me to wait for her." 

"Okay? Then wait for her." My tone is harsher than I intended, but it's the only way I can avoid this conversation going any further. Every fiber of my being wants things to go smoothly, even if that means Ben and Kathleen becoming a couple. I just want the ground to swallow me whole if it means the way my heart is beating against my chest doesn't reveal that I'm affected by Ben Jacobs.

"I need to talk to you." His voice is low and his eyes are deadset on mine. "Forget that you hate me and just let me say what I need to say."

I shake my head and give him a forced smile before I walk towards the sectioned off room in the dorm, crossing my arms to grasp my elbows with my hands so he doesn't reach for them to turn me towards him. "You already said everything you needed to say yesterday, so if you don't mind-"

"Will you just listen to me, Noelle?" I turn around and see his face pained, his eyes nearly glossy as he inches towards me but stops in his tracks. He pinches his left hand, in a way one would think not to pay much attention to, but I see his sun-kissed skin turn beet red when the blood rushes to the surface. "Don't go out with Adam."

What?

"Excuse me?" The neon colors in my head pause, no signs in sight as it's simply pitch black. For once, I don't get a warning. I don't get any context.

"I said don't go out with Adam." He says it slowly, as if to slow it down for me, which warrants an eye roll for more reasons than one, but I refrain. "Please."

"I'll go out with Adam if I want to go out with Adam. I think you can see yourself out." I turn and open the room door, prepared to slam it before I hear his next response.

"Please, Noelle. Don't do that to..." It's a plea disguised with a force of something I knew deep down affected him more than he was willing to share. I freeze in my spot as his words sink deep into me. We both know what's unsparingly dancing between us, and it's neon pink and red, and it's warm--it's delightfully warm.

"To what? To who?" I want to walk closer to him, to close this distance between us that was built out of misunderstanding and forced willingness. His eyes are pleading something I can't interpret as he takes one step forward.

He blinks multiple times before his lips press together harder before he releases a breath I didn't even hear him take so deeply. "I..." His lips close shut again as he balances one foot over another, as if to weigh the outcome of his next words. He bites his bottom lip harshly, a speck of blood making an appearance as I shake off the sight, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of me staring at his lips. 

"If you have something to say, something on your chest," I take a step back, my eyes on the door of Kathleen and I's dorm, remembering that she could walk in any minute. "Then say it. But don't come in here telling me who not to go out with by coating your words with innuendos." 

"I had a good time with Kathleen," he whispers, taking a slight step closer, the distance between us nearly diminished with his long strides. My heart sinks at this, at the success of what I produced, what I didn't fight against. "She's a nice person."