Rabid Cur (Kylo Ren x Reader)

Chapter Twenty-Three

This is a third person chapter reflecting on the feelings of both main characters, enjoy (:

He often thought about how aimlessly he used to wander through the galaxy. How he waded through time as if nothing mattered. How he followed every task given so numblessly, practically immune to feeling any kind of emotion.

One kill, ten kills, a hundred.

He had no care, no reason to feel guilt for the blood on his hands. The screams even became an irritant for him. Eventually he just became numb to them as well. The same repulsive noise going in one ear and out the other so effortlessly before breath just stopped completely. It was as simple as his morning breakfast, just another daily task for him to complete.

He couldn't count all the planets he'd been to for missions.

They all blurred together at a certain point, no matter the species or terrain. None of them had what he wanted, none had anything that made them memorable besides the familiar noise of his lightsaber slicing through flesh.

The galaxy was the same jumbled mess of systems and ships to him, a blip in his constant journey to fulfill his life goal.

Would anything ever matter to him?

He never knew if things would change until he saw her.

Her eyes, her hair, her body. Even just the way she looked at him.

All of it became intoxicating.

He would go to those silly meetings only occasionally and lurk in the back for his own enjoyment. But when he heard of her promotion in that one particular meeting, he caught his first glimpse of her.

She was so shocked, so speechless that day. And everyone in the room wanted her dead, the most beautiful girl who had done nothing wrong.

After that it was all over with.

He watched her constantly, he had picked her brain a multitude of times before she even said a word to him. The pull to her was an unworldly feeling, it tugged on him no matter what he did to try and stop it. Any thought that entered his head was shifted to her, every single time.

He was angry that his mind betrayed him, he couldn't understand what was so fascinating about this one girl that made every nerve in him unravel.

Until,

She parted her lips and said her first words to him.

"I-I'm sorry."

Little did he know, she would soon become his reason for breathing. She was the only woman to ever look at him as a person. To be sympathetic towards him, to cry when he was in pain or mourn when he was dying. She cared so deeply for him, in a way he had never had the chance to experience before.

It was life changing.

With their naked bodies pressed together, their bond continued to grow exponentially. She had opened up her heart to him, something so rare and so special. She was terrified of being too vulnerable, so scared that something would turn in him and she would be left alone in this mess that they had created together.

She had given up everything she cared about, including her friends which previously had been of utmost importance in her life. But the feelings she had for him simply could not compare, he had infiltrated her life so quickly and so intensely there was nothing she cared about more in this life.

She loved him so much, when posed with the plan of becoming Kylo's new prodigy it didn't even phase her.

Yes.

The answer would have always been yes. She refused to ever put Kylo in the position where Snoke could hurt him again. Which meant she was willing to do just about anything to keep him safe. Including sacrificing her morals to train under him.

That fire was inside of her, growing and flickering ever so lightly. The hunger within her to get revenge on those who wronged her. It made him proud, elated to see how much she had grown in that regard. And her itch to kill was one that he needed to facilitate, one that he was dying to fulfill. It was the only thing he desperately continued to believe in, that in a small way she was like him.

She was his counterpart, not quite equal but moving increasingly intuitive to him. Sharp as the blade she held, her calculated movements were growing tenfold. Training for hours and hours, she was becoming extremely skilled in combat. Force or no force, she was a hell of an opponent. Keeping the knights on their toes was the most fun she would have all day.

Kylo couldn't have been happier. He knew it was cruel to want her to be like him, to hope that this way she could understand why he is the way he is. He was enjoying it too much. His days were now spent with the most wonderful woman in the universe who he loved so profoundly, with no cares to be had. Snoke stopped pestering him to let him train her, the knights would join in every few days and he was able to love her so fearlessly with no one's opinions. It was bliss.

He knew in the back of his head that she was still too good for him and always would be. She was too kind, too generous, and cared too much for others to ever belong with his heartless self. But every time she kissed him, or held him tightly those fears would disappear.

She was the only person, the only thing in the galaxy that could ever produce that type of effect on him. His guard was down now and for once he accepted it. He embraced every touch, every word of affirmation. He knew it made him weak and pathetic but he wouldn't have wanted it any other way. She was intimate with him in a way he cherished so greatly.

But he knew it could always disappear in the blink of an eye.

He stopped looking in her head when he realized she couldn't possibly ever feel the same as he did. The love he had for her was so abundant and all-consuming, he truly believed that she couldn't reciprocate.

If only he knew...

She loved him and the ground he walked on. Any planet, any mountainside she would've been there in a millisecond if he wanted her there. It was the type of love she had dreamed about for so many years. The kind she read about in her bedtime stories as a child, that her sweet mother would tell her as they were surrounded by violence.

He loved her infinitely. There was not anything she could've done that would've change his mind. It was the type of love he desperately wanted from his mother and father. He dreamed as a child that for once they could look at him with the type of adoration they shared with each other. That hope was one he had buried until he met her.

The love they shared could have shattered the universe, disintegrating their entire world down to each individual atom that created it.

Nothing was like it before and would be again.

It was simply a love for the ages.