DERANGER - SEULRENE

008

you're not sure what she has done to you. you can't even remember when it started.

but you find yourself constantly yearning for her presence.

it may or may not have something to do with finding out how she's trying to live a minimimalistic lifestyle--she had to buy you disposables as she only has one of everything in her dining; spoon, fork, plate, and a glass.

you find it intruiging when she said she doesn't see the need to have a television when she's got a laptop and a reliable internet connection.

everything she's saying adds more to your growing interest in her. the idea of you parting ways after breakfast to go back to your student-professor life in the confines of the classroom makes you anxious.

will you see her again outside the university after today? does she even want to see you? it's always a one-time thing for her, isn't it?

during breakfast, you want to bring up the topic of meeting again, but your brain tells you that's too slutty.

so you stay silent, wishing she'd do something to at least give you a hint she wants to see you too.

it's not about sex for you. it's about what you are when you're with her. you like yourself more when you are with her.

you feel at ease, more comfortable, like you don't need to be perfect in front of her. you love how she listens to you attentively without contradicting, like she understands every bit of you.

yes, maybe she really wants to get into your pants, but you don't care. if being with her means getting trapped in this solace, then you're willing to give it to her.

you feel a little sad when it's time for you to go. she walks you down the building and hails a cab for you.

she hands you a card before closing the car door.

she holds her pinky finger to her mouth and her thumb to her ear and mouths, "call me."

---

"kang seulgi, digital marketing and communications major," says eunwoo, tilting his head to read the test paper on your fridge that hangs along with some bills to pay. he turns to you. "a favourite student of yours?"

hearing that name somewhat moves your heart. you're glad you're busy pouring the sauce into the pasta bowl, and your brother won't see your blushing face.

mental note to yourself: put that paper back in the folder before donghae sees it on friday.

"ahh. yeah. i was checking the test papers and found something in her answers worth taking notes," you say.

eunwoo stands straight, his hands in his pockets. "learning something from your student, aren't ya?"

you secretly smile as you approach the dining table with the bowl of spaghetti. "well, the world of digital marketing evolves rather quickly. what works today might be obsolete next month."

"absolutely terrifying." he sits on the chair across from you and pours a serving on your plate first before his. "if something changes that fast, i don't think i can keep up with it. at least a musical instrument is played in the same way generations after generations."

"that's undebatable."

"that's the reason i think your career choice seems to fit you, noona."

you look at your brother. "you don't think i fit being a lawyer?"

his face contorts. "you were a zombie when you were studying law. why don't you forget about mum and dad and stick to what you want? it's your life you're living after all, not theirs."