DERANGER - SEULRENE

022

you're not sure what's gotten into you.

it's a sunday. you're alone and have not planned anything for the day.

yet, somehow, you find yourself back in the memorial chapel where seulgi's dad is--for no solid reason at all.

it could be because you woke up feeling lonely and empty again, and this is the only place you think you could find solace in.

it feels more like visiting a friend to you--a person whom you've never met, but somehow you feel close to.

it could be the knowledge about how you two somewhat shared the same experiences. if seulgi's dad was alive, you know it's him who would have understood you best.

besides, this place reminds you a lot of seulgi, of you two together. walking around here gives you that feeling of being close to her again.

it's not enough to stop your longing for her. but somehow, it would suffice.

---

your idea of finding some alone time in the memorial chapel is ruined when you turn to the isle, only to shriek in shock after spotting seulgi sitting on the floor--head resting against the wall, her eyes covered in aviator glasses.

seulgi, who flinched at your ear-piercing shriek, immediately stands to her feet and looks at you.

"p-professor." she bows.

while your hand is still on your chest, you take that short time to appreciate her attire. you wonder why or how she manages to look hot in dark pants, a white shirt, and a leather jacket when she's only visiting her dad.

"i... i am here to visit your dad," you say, still beyond embarrassed getting caught.

she gazes at you for a moment before she looks away and nods. "i see. i appreciate the kindness."

there's something about how she treats you that brings this stinging feeling inside you.

"you don't need to be so formal around me outside the university," you say. "you used to hit on me even when we're not close. what happened to that seulgi?"

your attempt to lighten up the mood with your smile is not returned. seulgi's face remains stoic. all you can see is your reflection on her glasses.

you look down with a sigh. "look. i... uh... i'm sorry if i visited here without telling you first..."

"no. it's... it's totally fine. you can visit whenever you want, even without telling me. i'm happy he's got a new friend." she looks at her dad's compartment.

there's this familiar feeling rushing inside you. you remember the first time the two of you went here; how you talked and cuddled while you 'talk' to seulgi's dad.

it wasn't that long when it happened. but it seems like a distant memory now. you and seulgi seem like different people now.

"i should leave you alone." seulgi bends down to pick her bag.

"do you really have to go?" you ask, not wanting her to leave yet. "if you still plan to stay here, i'll just visit some other time."

"no worries. i really ought to go. i've got a schedule today." she looks around the floor, making sure she's not left anything, before looking back at you. "i'll see you around, professor."

you fiddle with your fingers as you watch her turn and walk away. but there's this nagging thought you couldn't stop anymore.

"seulgi, why didn't you tell me?"