The Office | Jim and Pam Oneshots

Enough For Now

Had Tornado weather this weekend. Felt Inspired.
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I could hear the drums and patters against the window. As the rain gently hit the roof.

It was nice.

That sort of quiet relaxing thunder in the background that eased the tension between us.

I was giving you a ride home when you invited me inside, asked me if I wanted to stay for dinner. I said yes, and by then the sprinkles in the sky slowly started to turn into that sudden large pour that always seem to come out of nowhere, and we both ran inside to that tiny house of yours.

We were drenched, and our coats were soaked and they suddenly weighed 10 pounds more than when we put them on. But we were laughing and I could only imagine that everyday would be like this with you.

So you poured me wine. And I sat on your couch and I watched as you danced around your kitchen, adding whatever ingredients it was to whatever you were making.

And maybe I let the little moments get to my head. But I started imagining you in my kitchen, you in my apron, and I could see the giggles and the ketchup fights and I hated that Michael implanted that thought into my head.

With you it didn't sound so bad.

You placed the plate in front of me. Looking back I can't even remember what you cooked for me. And maybe that makes me an asshole or something but the truth is I was really only focused on you.

But when I finished my plate I walked over to the sink and you laughed. 

"Sit down," You said, "I'll do it."

"I'm the man of the house Pam," And I let the water run as I grabbed a sponge, "I'll do the dirty work, don't worry about it."

"Man of the house, huh?"

"Well do you see any other men in this house?"

I was turned away from you but I knew you were smiling. I knew you were fighting back a giggle as you said, "No, sir."

So you walked next to me and helped me dry the plates. And you had some dirty ladles and bowls here and there and you smacked my arm when I called you a slob.

It felt nice. It felt normal. To be in your home and your space and to laugh with you while washing dishes.

So you'd think that these little moments with you were enough. That I could feed myself with your smiles and your stares and I'd be fine knowing that you only considered me as a friend.

But it wasn't.

It's not.

So I survive by telling myself I could give you the world if you'd only let me. I just wish i'd have the courage to tell you.

I thank you for dinner but by then the rain had turned to thunder and lightning and strong winds. But still, I grab my keys not wanting to overstay my visit.

"You sure you'll be safe?"

"Nope."

"Seriously, Jim." I can hear the tone in your voice change. "Maybe you should stay. Wait it out?"

I bite back a smile and instead sigh, "Ok."

"I just want you to be safe."

"I know."

I love you. And it sounds funny with the rain prickling against the glass and the sound of my heart beating in my ears. And I hate myself that I can't tell you that. That I love you so much I can't take it.
I fall in love with you a little more everyday which scares me because I shouldn't be in love with you in the first place.

But I feed myself on this and on you. And even though I won't be okay in the long run,

It's enough for now.

Kinda rusty on the writing. It's been a while.