How to express love

Allured from the beginning

I was staring intently at this slyly smirking boy who did not seem to vouch me the slightest of respects. The amused grin drawn on his face and his cupped chins proved his lack of interest in my claims, even if seen from an outsider's perceptive it might have looked as if I was given all his precious attention. No, he was actually heartlessly mocking me and making fun of my cruel unluckiness. If one glanced closer, they could observe as he lightly rocked his head to an unknown rhythm in his mean mind, just to frustrate me further. I heard some of his chuckles escape his mouth, he could not care less about me.

The reason why I was losing my free time on this wonderful afternoon after class was because of this paltry troublemaker that no one could tame. Kokichi Oma, the infamous delinquent whose only purpose in life must have been to inconvenience as many people as possible. The teachers tried everything: talking to him personally, letting the director handle him, meet his exasperating parents, ask for his classmates' help and finally me. I was known as the "ideal pupil" in the school, even if I did not exactly agree with this description given to my person. Nonetheless, me and my diligent attitude were the last hope to convince the imp to get on a better path, and I had no idea how they intended me to succeed in such a task. I was not formed to make miracles; I only knew how to work well because I was raised to do so. There was nothing in my power I could do.

However, I still decided to give it a go. I enjoyed new experiences and if along the way I could satisfy other people as well, in occurrence teachers, it was a bonus. I had nothing better to do anyway, and I was hoping it would not take up too much of my free time. I was clearly gravely mistaken as it has been more than three long hours that we were sitting in front of each other, glaring, waiting for one of us to begin a feeble conversation. Or I should rather say, continue what I initiated: I told him why I came to meet him, to which he simply answered "Hmm".

From the side of my eyes, I admired the view I was missing out. The golden rays colored the scenery in an otherworldly beauty glowing into our empty classroom too, appeasing the somewhat tension that was building up between us. The piling dead leaves, the gentle breezes and the quietly chirping mockingbirds were what broke our hellish silence and made the passing time bearable. My patience knew no limits, I was not even sure what he was expecting from me, and what was right to do in this situation: I already told him my intentions all I could do now was wait for his clear answer which did not seem to come anytime soon.

I observed Kokichi again, trying to find out what was going on inside his head. Even without the sound of his voice, I already learnt quite a few facts about him simply with this oppressing silence he gave me. He was stubborn like a child, he could distract himself easily and on command, he had nothing to do in his afternoons, he could not care less about others and their comfort... These were all obvious and apparent traits that everyone knew about but got confirmed for me just by spending these hours with him.

After a while, I decided that I learnt enough of him for the day and that I would rather try my luck tomorrow regarding actual discussions. I abruptly stood up ready to leave him on his own, fed up with his disrespectful attitude, when he suddenly started to snicker victorious. I turned to him with frowning brows, just to see his devilishly squinting darkening expression, and his toothy smile displaying scornfully. A ping of discomfort hit me like a boulder, and I was about to inquire him when I understood his reasons. Or more like I could predict what he would answer me if I asked him directly about it. It was as if we were having a mental conversation with simple glances.

I sighed, and just got to my bag that I left in the back of his classroom to bring back a small bottle of water from it. I sat down again and took a long sip, hoping my bluff would work on him. He blinked twice and started to laugh with a raspy voice. So he had seen through it...