Dancing in the Dark - A Severus Snape Love Story

20 | Memories

"I didn't know how to tell you."

Snape's head was lowered, his eyes refusing to look up at me. His breathing was shallow as he pulled the dark fabric of his sleeves over his hands.

"Using your words would have been a fantastic start." I said a little too harshly, causing Severus to recoil even more.

"I'm sorry." He barely whispered. I inhaled sharply, it was difficult to see the man I loved looking so defeated. But I couldn't ignore the fact that he had been keeping this secret from me.

"Severus, you should have told me." I said, my voice growing hot with frustration. "Is that the reason you've been so horrible to Harry?" I said, stepping closer to catch his gaze as he slowly lifted his head.

But Snape didn't speak.

"He didn't do anything to you!" I shouted. "Oh he's done quite enough!" Severus boomed back, causing me to jump.

"You think I don't see that wretched boy's father every time he struts down the hall? You think I'm not tormented by the fact that his mother's eyes are glaring at me hatefully every time he looks my way? This boy is the reason the woman I loved died and now history may repeat itself with you!" His eyes brimmed with tears as his words flew from his lips.

I felt a deep, overwhelming cold settle into me. "How often do you think of her?" I asked, my heart pounding a mile a minute.

"Less with each passing day." Snape admitted.

I didn't know whether to collapse or run. It could have been worse, but he still thought of a woman long gone while I was at his side. "Thinking about her won't bring her back Severus." I said cooly. Hurt by this, Severus took a step away from me. "I used to hope it would."

Unable to take any more, I stormed past Snape and headed for the door. Before leaving, I turned back one last time. "It's a shame you're so stuck on past, Severus. You don't seem to notice what you're doing to your future." With that, I turned and began walking away.

Before I made it to the door, I felt a hand tightly gripping my wrist and then the world swirling around at break neck speed.

~~~

Once the nausea had passed, I managed to lift my head and look around.

I was no longer in Snape's chambers. In fact, I wasn't even in Hogwarts anymore. There were rows of houses lining the cobbled street of what looked like a small village. Many of the buildings had been plastered in what looked like "Wanted" posters, however I could not see who the criminal in question was. The few lights still left on throughout the street illuminated the soft but steadily falling snow onto the bare trees, fences and gravestones.

Gravestones.

Turning quickly, I realized that I had apparated into a graveyard. Confused, I began to walk up and down the rows of headstones in the hopes of finding Severus. As I neared a line of snow dusted pine trees, I found him kneeling in front of an upright, white marble grave.

"In loving memory of James Potter and Lily Potter" I whispered to myself.

Snowflakes landed silently on Snape shoulders as he spoke softly. "Lily is my past, Katie. No amount of thinking or magic will change that.

Did you really bring me here just to rub it in more?

Half sighing and half laughing at my thought, Severus continued. "The more time we spend together, the more my heart has allowed Lily to stay in the past. Every day I find myself thinking of the future and of you, Katie. As you were walking away I realized something..." His words trailed off.