Deep Thoughts

A Letter To My Future Self

To My Future Self:

I hope you are happy; I hope you have wonderful people around you; I hope you are living happily; I hope you are living your dreams because 17-year-old you needs this to work out because she doesn't know how much more heartbreak she can take. I want you to never forget where you started. You started at rock bottom, in a house with a narcissistic father that believed he was never wrong, that you had to sign your on school permission slips at the age of 12, that you hated your body at 13, that at 14 you took pain pills to forget your troubles, that at 15 you got kicked out because your father loved your stepmother more than his own flesh and blood, that at 16 your father didn't celebrate your birthday with you because he was in rehab again, that's at 17 you struggled with 2 major anxiety disorders, PTSD, and depression because of him. Remember when you prayed to a God you didn't believe in to set you free of the pain you were in; to make sure that life get better from here where I am at right now while writing this. I hope you are a strong independent individual who doesn't stand for what the people who raised you stand for. I want you to read this and remember how far you have come in life and how proud you should be for how far you have come. I hope you have a wonderful life.

Love, 17-Year-Old Me