After All This Damage (Finished)

Chapter 29

Your POV

You wake up to the beeping sound of a heart monitor. You look to your left and see Bucky sleeping on the couch. You smile at his adorable face.

You move to sit up which makes Bucky wake up "I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you." You apologized

"Hey your awake, and its ok, I'm glad your ok." He had gotten up and knelt down beside your bed.

"Yea I'm ok." You open you arms wanting him to climb in bed and cuddle. He did laying down where you could cuddle on top of him. The two of you fell asleep.

***

A/N Trigger Warning Miscarriage

You woke to a pain in your lower stomach. You curl into a ball trying to keep it at bay but it didn't help. Your moving had stirred Bucky awake.

"Doll you ok?" He asked looking up at you.

"No something hurts" you groaned in pain.

He turned on the lamp, you had looked down and noticed a giant red spot in the sheets.

"Oh my gosh oh my gosh." You started freaking out.

"Hey doll everything is going to be ok. Lets me go get someone." He got up and ran out the hall. We had shield agents on staff for medical purposes.

After a few minutes he came back with a nurse. She was blonde with green eyes, she said her name was Danielle. She started running test and even did a sonograph scan to see what happened. After a few minutes she looked sad.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Barnes but the stress your body went through caused you to have a miscarriage. I'm sorry, I'll get someone to come change the sheets." She headed for the door. "Again I am really sorry for your loss."

You stopped listening to her after she said miscarriage. Your mind went 1000 miles an hour. You were absolutely lost. Completely lost. You couldn't even bring yourself to cry. You felt numb.

"Doll?" Bucky said sitting in front of you. "Hey lets get you a shower. The housekeeper is here to change your sheets." When you didn't answer Bucky picked you up and carried you to the bathroom closing the door. He sat you on the toilet seat and started running the water. He stood you up and started undressing you. He walked you into the shower and helped clean you up. He dried you off and helped you get dressed. He carried you back to bed, laid you down putting the new covers over you. He laid behind you and held you close. "I'm here for you, whenever you are ready I'm here for you."

You laid awake crying on the inside, breaking. After a few hours you finally fell asleep.

***

"Doll?" Bucky was stroking your cheek giving you soft kisses. It had been a few weeks. You haven't spoken much. You opened your e/c eyes and met his steel blue ones. "Hey doll."

"Hi" you mumbled. "How are you? With everything?"

"I'm hurting but I am seriously worried about you. How are you?" He asked pulling you closer.

"I'm numb. Hating myself for being a super solider, if I hadn't become one I wouldn't have been taken hostage and put under that stress causing us to lose our baby."

"You didn't have a choice in becoming a super solider like I didn't have a choice. Don't you ever hate yourself. You are perfect just the way you are. I love everything about you. Your hand fits in mine like it was made just for me." He holds your hand pulling it up and kissing it. He lays it on his cheek. "I love the crinkles by your eyes when you smile. I love you stomach and your thighs, and the dimples on your back at the bottom of your spine. I love how you talk in your sleep, I love how you scrunch your nose when you are happy and trying to say you are right in an argument. I love you Y/N never forget that you are perfect just the way you are." He kissed you and put his forehead against yours.

All the emotions of everything that happened had resurfaced and so did your absolute love for the man laying next to you telling you how much he loves you, you started crying.

"I just wish there was a way to escape this life." You confessed.

"I know," he held you close. "What if we went off the grid, bought a boat and just sailed the seas?"

"That sounds amazing. I think it would be an amazing new chapter in our life."

"Yea it would" he kissed your forehead.