I have severe anxiety and I am 100% sure.
I just wanted to share a recent like 45 mins ago recent incident in my class.
So I am taking these classes for an entrance exam for hotel management course or as called outside India, culinary course and I missed last class, where our teacher started a new module about communication, cause it is a very major part of management.
So we were given 2 tasks where we had to prepare a 2 min intro for ourselves and had to speak abt any topic of interest for 2 mins. I maybe had an adrenaline rush or something cause I made THE BIGGEST MISTAKE AND A COMPLE FOOL OUT OF MY FUCKING SELF.
I unmute myself and say in a confident voice that I would like to speak abt harry potter.
Y'all..........I'm obsessed with the wizarding world JK ROWLING created and I am even trying to shift. So I think "huh! 2 f-ing mins, puff that's easy" I start to speak, and suddenly, my eyes stop working, my brain stops working and I fucking forget Voldemort's name and say how the love of family and friends defeats the evil.
I am seriously so dissASSpointed in myself.
I can't breathe, my chest hurts bad like real real bad, I am sweating, panicking, and what do I do after literal 4 sentences?
I TURN OFF MY DATA AND EXIT THE CLASS AFTER 1 MIN
I want to cry so bad
I am so lost in this situation, I can't tell my parents cause " jUsT bE hApPy" "JuSt DoNt bE dEpReSsEd"
" why do u have anxiety anyway?"
ha
WELL??
I DON'T KNOW???
WHY DON'T U ASK UR DEVILS SPAWN OF A KID WHO IS 5 YEARS YOUNGER YET BULLIES ME MORE THAN SCHOOL BULLIES?????? and u do NOTHING!
ORRRR WHY DONT U ASK UR DAD, PAA? he gave u trauma too didn't he?
writing this makes me feel better but where do I go?, to whom do I go?
I am already the most medically expensive kid in the house anyways, I don't want to burden them anymore.
wooh. I feel a lil better.
also, y'all remember that guy who acted like a kid, (the first one)
ya, his friend died,
she committed suicide,
didn't knew her but god bless that girl's soul.
Amen
YOU ARE READING
My diary
Short Storythis book is just for my complaints and random thoughts because i cant afford a therapist 😃 Also check out my small business for personalized keychains on Instagram: merakee.customizations THANK YOU (っ.❛ ᴗ ❛.)っ
