The queen of the Horn - A suspian fanfic

Not going to lose you again

By the mane.... I blink rapidly as the orange sunshine is coming through my open windows. I feel so completely, totally exhausted. My legs and feet are hurting from all the dancing last night. I haven't sat out a single dance and I think the sun was almost coming up again when we we're going to bed. All those stupid lords and ambassadors drained me from the energy. I groan and flop on my side, white roses are sitting in a vase on my bedside.
Caspian.
When he brought me to my room last night, we kissed once again very, very passionately and he suddenly gave me a couple of white roses.
Ooh, Caspian, even when I think of him I smile, butterflies go wild in my stomach.
But my very peaceful daydreaming is interrupted by the sound of Lucy's annoyingly but cheerful and loud singing in her bathtub on the other side of my wall.
By the mane Lu.
But I know she is happy and I love her too much, but her singing is very annoying. And very loud. But Lucy is also the one who is not old enough to be drinking. And for sure I know that the boys are having a very bad headache. I smile at the thought of how I picture Peter and Edmund in their bed right now, groaning and feeling sorry for themselves.

After what I think is an hour, a knock on my door makes me more alert. 'Su?' Peter. Quickly I slip out of my bed and take my robe, slipping it on. I yawn as I make my way to the door. I stumble and almost fall over my dress. I took it off last night in a hurry. I open my door, there he stands the magnificent high king of Narnia, hangover from the night before. 'Su, can we talk?' He sighs as he walks past me and falls down on his back on my bed. 'What do you wanna talk about?' I say a bit unsure as I fall down next to him. 'About you and Caspian'
Oh.

'Pete!' I say a bit too loud and quickly sit up. But Peter grabs my wrist and pulls me back down and flops on his side so he faces me. 'I know, I know you love him. A year you cried for him. Every night. But I saw you on the ball and I can't help it'
'What?' I spat at him, getting angrier at him. 'I don't like it! He is three years older than you Su! And he, he- and you know how they can be!'
'By the mane Peter! I know how they can be. How Rabadash can be!' I am yelling now but the moment I say his name, Peter looks at me wide-eyed. And his grip on me softens.
'Peter' I sigh. 'Caspian is nothing like him. Nothing! Don't you want me to be happy?' Peter sits up and takes my hands as he looks in my eyes. 'Of course I want you to be happy Su! I want that more than anything in the world, but I don't want you to get hurt anymore!'
'The only one hurting me right now are you Peter' I spit and I see the hurt in my brother's eyes. 'Do you remember what you told me when my first suitor came to Cair? And he asked for my hand?' Peter nods. 'You said to me that I never do anything that I would be ashamed of telling you or Edmund about. Caspian is the good guy here Peter. He cares for me and I for him. Why can't you just-'
'I can't lose you again!' He suddenly screams as he releases my hands and the tears roll down his cheeks. He quickly grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me a little bit. I can just hold my own tears back as I see him like this. So afraid, afraid for me. Peter bows his head as he sighs. 'I can't. Not again' He looks up again. 'When we came back, you were so broken. Broken beyond repair Su and it broke me to see you like that. That a boy for a second time had broken you and I promised myself to never let that happen again'
This time I am the one to bow my head in shame. Because he is right. He is so right. Because after we came back, I was so sad and angry that I never went to parties anymore or went with them to gatherings or when the bombs were falling, they had to drag me with them to safety because I couldn't care less. 'Susan, I am sorry. I know you really like him and I know he makes you happy but I just don't want to see you get hurt again. I can't see you like that again. I love you too much' Peter finishes in a whisper as he releases me. I feel his eyes on me as I lift my head up. 'No Peter. I am sorry. I know you love me and you say this because you care about me. All you have ever done is protect me but I am too stubborn to listen' Peter smiles weakly as he puts his arms around my shoulder and pulls me against his chest. 'I just want you to be happy Su' He whispers in my hair as he kisses the top of my head. 'I am! Caspian makes me so happy Peter. I never been so happy in my whole life, it is as a heavy burden is lifted from my chest'
'Then you have to say it. To Caspian. Aslan gave you two a second chance.. He gave our family a second chance' He embraces me tightly and slips off my bed, rushing out of the door. I look to my open windows, the sun is fully up but it is still early. I know Peter is right and that I have to tell him. And that's what I am going to do.
We still don't know if Aslan lets us stay here, but I want to treasure my time with Caspian and be honest with him so long I have the chance.
Another knock on my door makes me jump and the door opens; it is one of my ladies in waiting. 'Are you up? Your majesty?' I grin slightly as I hear her hoarse voice. 'I am, come in' I tell her as she quietly comes into my room. My feet hit the floor and I walk out my bathroom, where she is filling the bathtub. It is quickly ready and I undress myself and slip into the warm bath. It is not that warm, as in England but it is okay. My lady is helping me wash my hair as I wash my body and I rinse it quickly off and step out of the tub. She disappears into my room again, probably seeking out a dress and corset. I take a slip dress and a clean pantie and put it on. When I come out of the bathroom, she stands already with the black corset in her hand. She helps me put it on and laces the lace. I put on my white petticoat and she has chosen a red - with gold embroidering on the upperpart- dress. When I am fully dressed she sits me down on my dressoir and brushes my hair while I do my make up. She makes a half updo and sets my crown steady on my head. 'You look beautiful your majesty' She smiles happily as she looks at me. I bow my head slightly for her as a thank you. 'You did wonderful! Thank you!' But before I can say something else, another knock on the door makes me wonder. She quickly opens it and I notice her face becomes red. Caspian steps into my room. She curtsies before him and rushes out of my room, closing the door behind her. I quickly stand up from my hair, almost stumbling forward as I move too quickly. But as the knight he is, he saves me before I hit the ground. A bit awkward he releases me and we look at one another. 'Did you sleep well?' Is the first thing he says with a grin. 'Yes! And you?'
'A slight headache' He grins as his hand touches mine. 'That was to expect' I say with a smile and he bows forward, his lips hovering above mine. 'It was a beautiful ball, celebrating that the woman I love came home' He whispers and my breath stops.
He is saying it again!
My heart is almost beating out of my chest. 'What did you just say?' Caspian rests his head against my own and takes a deep breath. His brown orbs find mine. 'I love you Susan Pevensie. I loved you from the first moment I saw you that day in the woods and no matter what happens. I will love you until the day I day and even after that!' My heart is leaping out of my chest and it feels like my brain is on fire. 'I love you too Caspian' I say, taking a deep breath after. But before I even can suppress what is happening right now, his lips are on mine. When we pull away to breathe again, he still rests his forehead against mine;''I love you so much Susan' He whispers before his lips find mine again.