Willingly: Her Version

Chapter Four

When classes resumed, I realized this will be the last year I will see him at school. He'll soon graduate and work in some other place. I won't be able to see him on my last year of studying. It's a pity.

One time, I tried greeting him but he only took one second to glance at me. He completely ignored me. Does he not remember me at all? Was he too drunk that he doesn't remember my face?

I started feeling insecure. I looked at myself in the mirror. I turned my face left and right. I'm not your average girl. I have definitely been called beautiful by others, men and women alike. I sighed. He's making me mad.

I feel like I'm more heartbroken by his ignorance compared to my last breakup.

I decided to confess to Vivian and asked her for help. She looked at me like I lost my mind.

"Are you kidding me?" She had to ask. I shook my head and wore a determined expression on my face.

"You do realize he could be gay? From what I've heard, he never had a girlfriend."

I rolled my eyes at her blatant attempt to dissuade me.

"Trust me, I know he isn't gay." No gay would kiss like he did.

"How can you be sure? Do you know something?"

Great. Now I made her curious. To say, or not to say? I contemplated.

"Quick. Tell me, or I won't help you." She's a bad negotiator. She's a good blackmailer.

"Oh, this I should know. I promise I won't tell anyone. Cross my heart." She says and I pursed my lips. I try to remember what she's like in the past. She's never one to gossip about other people. She does talk about other people but she knows when they're mostly speculations and should not be spread around.

So, I told her. My other reason for doing so is I need someone to commiserate with me. I feel like I'm being dumped.

So, what did we plan to do? Vivian's ideas were a bit wild. Not something I would've thought by myself. I had to remind her that I still need to study if I want to graduate on time. I can't keep stalking him at school. I had to attend classes.

I'm not sure how she managed it, but at the end of that week, I learned Kurt's class schedule.

"It wasn't hard. You know how they post class schedules during enrollment. He's in a block section. I just had to know one subject, its schedule, and the rest is easy to figure out." She had to explain to me. I would admit I haven't thought of that method.

"But where did you get the schedules? They're no longer posted, are they?"

"Ask me no questions and I shall tell you no lies. That isn't important. I have my ways. That's all you need to know."

I let her be. We brainstormed and her ideas took precedence. Mine are lame.