angels like you (rini au)

S I X

~chapter six~
tw: child abuse, domestic violence, panic attacks, mentions of suicide

"I said let go of me, stop hurting me!"

Nini's grip on her hair became tighter and tighter as she paced up and down in her room, her mother's screams ringing in her ears like an alarm. Her breath sped up more and more as she began to mentally feel the hits and slaps that her mom was physically feeling in the room across the hall.

"Make it stop," Nini whispered to herself through heavy pants. "I said stop, please stop," Carol screamed. "Please make it stop," Nina repeated as she pulled harder on her hair. "Dean, I said stop, I'm sorry, please just stop!"

"Stop, please make it stop!" Nini herself started screaming as her eyes began flooding with tears. "I need it to stop, please just stop!" She yelled as she balled her hands up into a fist with frustration.

"Why won't you stop?" Carol cried as she presumably took another hit. "Why won't you stop?" Nini asked, as she slammed her fists down on the desk in front of her.

Nina felt her mind going dizzy as both her and her mom screamed in sync, from opposite ends of the 2nd floor of their house. She could feel both the emotional, mental and physical pain her mother was enduring at this very moment in time and that she'd be enduring for the last 2 years. All of this had been happening since Nini was 15.

Well, almost 15. She was 14 years, 10 months and 26 days old. Of course she remembered her exact age. That was the last time she was ever truly happy. Carol met Dean at a wedding, funnily enough. And it was great at first. They clicked instantly, it was like it was meant to be. The first 3 months of their newly formed relationship was picture perfect. Until Carol suspected Dean had been cheating on her.

She confronted him, she showed him the texts that led to her suspicions and was ready to dump him. Nini wished she'd dumped him. But he wouldn't let her. That was the first time Nina witnessed him lay a hand on her, but it was certainly not the last. He slapped her and he told her that she had no right accusing him of something like that. Mind you, her suspicions were justified as he was in fact sleeping with another woman. But there was nothing Carol could do, because he also told her she could leave.

"There's nothing you can do, because you're in not in control."

Those words replayed in Nini's mind almost every single time she suffered a panic attack. She constantly remembered how Dean reminded both her and her mom that he had control over them and that he had a power over them. That he was in charge of them.

Her mind was racing and her heart was pounding out of her chest as her eyes closed. She tried to take herself into one of her different universes. She tried imagining a scene from her favourite book, any type of day dream. Anything that would get her out of this because she wanted it to stop. She desperately begged for all this stop. Until it finally did.

After about 5 minutes, there was silence from the other end of the hall. Nina waited until she deemed it safe to finally leave her room. She pulled her bedroom door open slightly and peeped through to see if there was any sign of Dean nearby. "Annoy me for the rest of the day and you're next."

She snapped her head towards the staircase, scared by the voice behind her. "I told you, I'm sick of you and your mom's bullshit," he added and Nini glared at him. "Then leave," she replied. "Or what? What are you gonna do?" He laughed, and she looked him dead in the eyes as she struggled to get the words out.