“This is bullshit!”
Jumping, I glanced up from the cheese burger I was tearing into hunks and looked across the table to where my Dad was sitting on the phone.
“Either you have those papers signed and on my desk by tomorrow morning or your fired.” He spat.
Hoping he wasn’t talking to his secretary Meredith, a small woman with a wide smile who’d been giving me suckers and stickers since before I could see over her desk, I winced.
“I don’t care if you asked for tomorrow off.” He carried on running his fingertips through his graying hair.
Scowling down at her salad, Anna crammed a large forkful into her mouth.
“They better be on my desk tomorrow Meredith.” Dad warned, before hanging up his phone and dropping it on the wooden table with a clunk.
“I don’t see why you have to be so horrible to her.” Anna mumbled.
Ignoring her, Dad shoved several Ranch dressing dipped fries into his mouth and turned to look at me.
“Calum why are you not eating?” he sighed.
“I am.” I mumbled, ripping a small hunk off of my bun and rolling it between my fingertips.
“You’re playing with it.” He snapped, “They’re not going to let you back on the team until you bulk up.”
“What if I don’t want to bulk up?” I muttered.
“What’s that?” he asked.
“Nothing.” I replied.
“Eat your burger.” He grumbled.
My stomach churning at the very idea of allowing the thick, grease saturated perfectly circular slab of mystery meat past my lips I lifted up a corner of the day glow orange cheese which covered the patty like a blanket.
“Calum this is beyond ignorant.” He informed me, messaging his temples, “There are people in this world, children, that are starving.”
Ignoring him I picked up a French fry and twirled it between my thumb and index finger. I wanted to eat it, but I couldn’t. Because it wasn’t just a French fry, it was a greasy, floppy stick of fat and calories void of any nutritional value and I wasn’t having it.
“Calum just eat a little bit.” Anna sighed next to me.
“It’s gross.” I mumbled.
“You know what else is gross?” Dad snapped, “Looking like you just walked out of a concentration camp.”
“Dad!” Anna gasped.
“He looks disgusting!” he spat as if I couldn’t hear him, “I could pick him up by his clavicle if I wanted to!”
Lowering my chin down to my chest I tried to see the bones which I knew stuck out noticeably. I remembered the day that I’d realized just how noticeable they were.
I was in the lock room after practice, trying to see my tail bone, bruised from rubbing against the ground as I did sit ups, in the mirror. Some senior I didn’t know the name of had told me that I looked like a Tumblr chick.
I didn’t know what that meant, but I liked it.
I wasn’t Calum, who’s gut hung over his pants when he tried to do a sit up. I wasn’t Calum, who has to wear a t-shirt to the beach so no one has to look at his man boobs. I was just Calum. And I loved it.
“I’m getting a phone call.” Dad muttered pulling me back to the present, “Eat your food Cal.”
Nodding, I watched as he walked away before looking down at my burger.
“I’m not going to make you eat the whole thing.” Anna sighed, wiping her mouth on her napkin and rising to her feet, “But you need to eat at least half.”
Nodding, I waited until she left the room before ripping the burger in half and sticking it in my pocket. Adding a fistful of fries for good measure, I hastily left the kitchen and jogged up the stairs to my bedroom.
Closing the door behind me I crossed over to the bathroom and pulling the food out of my pocket dropped it into the toilet. Reaching out for the cool metal of the handle I flushed it, watching the grotesque meal swirl round and around in circles before disappearing down the drain with a satisfying gurgle.
Smiling I closed the toilet lid and ignoring me growling stomach brushed my teeth. I’d had breakfast and lunch, I didn’t need anything else.
Repeating those words to myself like a mantra I left the bathroom and crawled beneath the covers of my bed, eager for the break in hunger sleep brought.
