Skinny • Book 1 In The Reality Series

Katy

It had been thirty days; four weeks; an entire month since I had seen Calum, in that time my heart ached for him, it ached for my Mom, my siblings, my friends but instead of lying in shattered pieces in my rib cage it had never felt more whole.

My hands shoved deep in my pockets, my wrist feeling naked without a hospital band encircling it, I stared at the front door in front of me.

I'd thought of what to say for weeks when this moment came but in the moment my mind was completely blank.  I knew the first step was ringing the doorbell but I couldn't muster up the courage to step forward to do so.

I contemplated turning around and going home. But that meant awkward, careful smiles from my nervous sister as she walked on egg shells around me.

As I stood unsure of how to proceed my Dilemma was solved as the front door swung open and Calum appeared before me.

Immediately my heart dropped. He looked sick, sicker then I'd ever seen him, like a freshly hatched baby bird, nothing but skin and bone. His eyes were shadowed by deep circles, his lips were chapped and peeling and he looked as if the weight of his pack back was about to send him toppling to his knees.

As his dark eyes registered that I stood before him, he ripped his headphones out of his ears and looked me up and down as if he was seeing a ghost.

"Hi." I offered thickly, unsure of how else to initiate conversation.

"Katy," he breathed, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you."

"Who said I wanted to see you?"

That hurt.

"Nobody, I just figured...."

"You just figured I'd be sitting here waiting patiently for you to return after you fucked with my head?"

I winced, this was not how I'd expected things to go even when I'd considered the worst case scenario.

"Calum, I'm so sorry."

"Where'd you run off too this time? How long before you leave again a week?"

"Calum, I'm sorry."

"I'm done being emotionally invested dude."

Dude. Ouch. I could feel my heart thundering in my ears as I fought the urge to cry.

"I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have left."

"Don't apologize to me, I don't care what you do, I'm not your keeper."

"Clearly you care Calum."

"Cared." He corrected, "I'm not going to sit around and play this game though now if you'll excuse me, I need to get to school."

"Calum please."

"You can't just run off whenever something doesn't go your way and expect people to wait with baited breath until you come back. After a while people realize you're a flake and they stop giving a shit."

"You stopped giving a shit about me?"

"That's what I just said isn't it?"

"Calum I tried to run away, that was stupid, I see that now, I went to the hospital, I see now that wasn't the answer."

"Good for you."

He pushed past me and started down his front porch steps, white knuckling the railing.

"Calum please talk to me."

"I have nothing to say to you."

Tears that had been welling in my eyes leaked down my cheeks.

"But I love you." I whispered.

Calum looked back at me with pain in his eyes as if he had one million things to say but instead he turned and wordlessly got into his car and pulled away, leaving my heart broken on his front steps, watching after him.