Love Chromosomes

I. First and Last

Masa Masahiro

Growing up in a tropical country, I wasn't told that when it snows, it becomes so quiet that you can almost hear your own heartbeat. The world around me came in slow motion as I watched the tiny bits of snowflakes falling from the night sky. It was tranquil but ominous at the same time.

It's like the perfect beginning and ending for one's tragic story.

After coming to Japan a few hours ago, now I am here, barely alive and lying in the cold pavement outside a 24-hour convenience store on a not so busy street in the City of Sapporo. I was shot cold by an angry teenager after giving me a surprise attack, screaming my twin brother's name right on my face. I don't speak Japanese unlike my twin brother so I can only make out his name being yelled at hatefully.

Damn you Mark! What did you do this time?

The snow kept on coming down my face, mocking me for this biggest irony of my life. I came here not only to see my stupid brother. I also have dreamt of seeing the snow since I was a kid. I have never seen one after living my whole life in Thailand.

And here I am, seeing it for the first and last time.

The feeling of coldness and numbness in my extremities tells me how I am losing blood from the hole in my stomach. There's also this uncomfortable feeling when I try to breathe.

I am dying.

I ignored all the chaos around me. I have to think straight. Now that I accepted my fate, what are the things I should do before my heart finally stops beating? What are things to consider before leaving this world? I don't want to leave unfinished business. I will end up like a wandering ghost I have seen in movies. I will roam the earth, lonely until I become a vengeful spirit.

For the last time, I try working every rustic brain cells I have.

But even thinking alone was getting more difficult every passing minute as blood that basically supplies oxygen in my brain was draining profusely out from the hole in my stomach. I can vaguely remember why I am here in Japan.
When I was 5, our dad used to teach me some tricks to help me remember things. He said I can sing the alphabet song slowly and each time I get into a letter, I would be reminded of the things I ought to remember. Maybe that would work in this situation, no?

There'd be nothing to lose and nothing to do right at this point anyway so why not try. I might as well try it.
"A, B , C .." College! It fucking works!

Because I'm a self-proclaimed diligent student, I still think of my studies even at the verge of death. I'm in my second year of my pre-med course, I remember. I wanted to be a doctor. Why? Is it not to cure some loved one? Who? Can't be anyone but a relative right?

"D, E, F.G..H..I" I continued humming to myself. More people were gathering around me this time. They were gawking down at me with curiosity and horror in their faces. I can't understand a single word they are saying. Does anyone here speak Thai? Or maybe a little English? Ah, whatever. They can't save me now anyway. Too late for that.
"...I, J, K, L, M.." Mæ! How will my mom feel if she knew I expired in Japan? Oh no. Mark! You need to do something, you rotten piece of junk!

A familiar noise began to overpower those of the clamoring around me. It's an ambulance getting closer. I am supposed to feel elated because help is coming. But no. Ladies and gentlemen of this beautiful country, I would like you to know that my nervous system has now quitted on me.

"N, O, P" Phi? P who exactly? "Q, R, S, T.."

"Oniisama! Neh, Masa Oniisama!" Out of all the blur around me, I suddenly saw a split image of myself, only less attractive, shouting above my face as I felt being hauled up. My stupid younger brother's looming face didn't move away from mine. It was so nostalgic seeing him right now. It's like seeing a mirror in my death bed. Just the reflection a bit annoying and uglier than my actual self.