Love Chromosomes

XXVII. Choices

Mark Masahiro

"P Vee wait!" I run after him going down the stairs when he suddenly left the restaurant at the rooftop leaving his parents bewildered. P Axel was supposed to go after him but I told him I would go instead. I asked Saya to wait for me as I leave her on P Axel's care.

Though P Vee did not looked as hurt as he did when he knew I was only pretending to be my brother, he still have that dejected expression painted on his face when he realized I was that kid he used to play before. The same kid that caused him to suffer a traumatizing experience in the hands of our abductors back then. I opened up a wound that was supposed to close a long time ago.

"P Vee!"

He was walking so fast that I almost stumbled down from skipping 2 to 3 steps at a time. He acted as if he can't hear me. But I saw him wiped the back of his hands to his eyes. He was crying.

I continued to follow him until we made it to the ground floor and before he could turn the door knob of the fire exit, I reached him and grabbed his arm making him to look at me.

"P Vee! Wait. Please let me talk first." I pleaded without letting go of his arm. He was crying silently as he tried to pull his arm from me without looking at my eyes.

"No Mark. I'm not angry with you or anything. I just wanted a time to be alone." He told me in his hoarse voice.

"P Vee. I'm sorry for hiding it from you. I really do. I was scared to tell you. I'm scared because..."

"You are scared to tell me because you know I am weak? You are scared that my mind won't be able to handle it? It's ok Mark. I understand. And I am sorry for being weak like this." I am hurting hearing him think of himself this way. He is far from being being weak and it never crossed my mind that he was.

"P no! What happened back then was my own fault. I brought that whole mess to happen to us. I never blamed you for the injury I got that time. I chose to protect you because I wanted to. I chose to get that blow because I felt guilty for dragging you there with me. If only I listened to my mom and went inside the house then you wouldn't have to go out and play with me. I gave our abductors a chance to kidnap us. It's totally my fault P. So please don't blame yourself." My hands trembled as I hold his firmly. I was trying my best not to cry because I don't want him to see me all weak and make him think I need protection like when we were kids. His grip on my hands became as firm as mine. He shifted his body awkwardly trying to get closer to me only to stop in hesitation. It's as if he wanted to hug me but doubted himself if he have the right to do so.

"Mark! I'm sorry. I really am."

"P. I told you it wasn't your fault to begin with."

"No. I went out to play with you because I don't want you to be sad. I shielded you against those man because I feel obligated to act strong because I was older than you. No. I shielded you because I wanted to protect you. The me back then, even of I was still a kid have always wanted to protect you. But I failed. And it ate my conscience away. I'm sorry." The tears kept on flowing downhis handsome face. I reached out my free hand to wipe them away. P Vee's eyes are so beautiful even if they were sad.

"P Vee. You did your best. Thank you. Thank you for staying with me in that horrible situation. You have no idea how helpful your presence was back then. I considered you like some kind of superhero when you shielded me against those man P. Thank you for that. What I did was nothing compared to your own bravery. I know you would have taken that blow for me willingly. The thought itself was enough. I will forever be thankful because of that." My fingers traced the shape of his cheeks, stroking it gently until his eyes became more relaxed. It's time for us to moved on to that dark past of ours. I hope this all settles the previous misunderstandings. I hope I was able to heal his guilty heart.