Endless Summer Nights

23.

Derek watches Meredith's eyes roll back in her head as her eyelids flutter lightly. He shakes her shoulder slightly, hoping to keep her awake and that is when it happens. The scariest noise he could ever hear. The beeping of a monitor. The beeping of the monitor that is registering the heart rate of the baby. The baby is in distress. The baby is in distress and Meredith just passed out. It is too much. It is all too much.

"Meredith?" he asks in a panicked voice. "Meredith?! Please wake up. Please, oh God, please wake up!!" he practically screams. He feels his mother's hand on his elbow.

"Derek," she whispers, "you need to leave," she says in a tear-filled voice.

Derek turns to face his mother, a shocked expression on his face. "What? I can't leave. I can't leave her. I can't leave them. I can't leave them all alone. I can't. You can't. I can't," he says quickly, bordering on panic.

Mrs. Shepherd turns to the nurse in the room. "Go make sure the OR is open. We will be up in a minute," she says before turning back to her son. "We need to take her now, Derek. The baby is in distress because of the tear and Meredith is bleeding too much. You and your father can come with us to the elevator, but then you need to stay in the waiting room," she says as a single tear trails down her cheek. A tear because of the fact that her son is cracking in front of her.

He silently nods before turning back to Meredith. He grabs her limp hands and brings it to his lips. "It's going to be okay, Mer. My mom is going to take care of you. She is going to take great care of you and our son. You are both going to be okay and then we can finally be together. We can be a family. I want to take care of you," he says as the tears gather in his eyes, blurring his vision. He leans down close to her ear, smoothing her hair back out of her pale face. "I love you," he whispers, "I have always loved you. From the moment you ran into me I have loved you. I will never stop. I will never stop loving you, so please, Mer, please don't leave me. I can't lose you again. Please. You have to fight. You have to fight for you. You have to fight for our son. You have to fight for us," he says as they reach the elevator.

He didn't even realize that they were moving. He was so focused on her that he didn't notice they were at the elevator until his mother's hand was on his back again. "Der, dear," she starts.

He throws his hands up in the air. "I know! I know! God, do I know!" he practically yells. He leans down and kisses Meredith on the forehead. "I love you. I love you so damn much," he says softly before moving his mouth down to her stomach. He raises her hospital gown slightly to reveal her swollen abdomen. His lips graze her flesh. "Pull through, little man. You can do it. Be strong. Be strong for mommy and daddy. I love you," he says as a single tear falls onto Meredith soft flesh.

He feels her moving away. He can feel them pushing the bed. He can feel her slipping out of his grip.

"I will take good care of her," his mother whispers into his ear before stepping onto the elevator with Meredith.

He simply nods. He can't do much else. He watches the doors begin to close. They are closing on his future. So much is in that elevator. So much. He can't lose them. He can't lose her. He just can't. He feels a heavy hand on his shoulder. He knows that hand.

"Come on, son. Let's go to the waiting room," his father says with a heavy voice. He too hates to see his son in this much pain.

However, Derek doesn't turn and follow his father. He turns and walks in the opposite direction. There is something that he needs to do. There is something that he needs to get.

He walks to the nearby stairwell door and goes down the numerous flights two steps at a time. After what seems like forever, he finally reaches the bottom floor. He walks out into the lobby and into the gift shop. He moves towards the back of the shop. The area where they have the baby clothes. He sees it. He sees what he came after. He grabs one of them and walks towards the front of the store, but something catches his eye and causes him to stop. He smiles at the memory. The day that they spent together reading cosmo and eating every kind of junk food possible.