Endless Summer Nights

26.

Her soft snores reverberate throughout the still room, the only other sounds are those manufactured by the monitors. The white of his eyes are bloodshot and heavy, yellow bags cause him to look several years older than he really is. He runs his hand tiredly over his face once again, only his hand doesn't feel like his hand. The tiredness has so pervaded that his body that his rough hand feels like silk softly gliding over his worn features.

He feels his eyelids begin to grow heavy as each blink becomes more labored. He can't go to sleep. He needs to watch over her. He needs to protect her. He has to.

Blink

She giggles as he crawls up the bed under the shelter of the covers, his morning whiskers tickling the soft skin of her legs as he slowly rubs his face against her, wanting to feel every part of her against every inch of him.

Blink

He pushes her back against the cold tiles of the shower as the water cascades down both of their bodies. She giggles at the sudden shock of the cold and he can't help but chuckle from the infectiousness of her laughter. This is what made them perfect, their ability to laugh one moment before returning to the intense passion that fervently boiled within both of their souls for the other.

Blink

He is trying to stay awake, wanting to enjoy every last moment of their last night together. He wants to remember everything. The soft sounds of her snores. The gently waft of lavender from her conditioner that surrounds him like an ethereal cloud. The rise and fall of her chest from her deep breathing. Inhaling. Exhaling. Inhaling. Exhaling. Snoring. Sleeping. Dreaming.

"Derek?" a tired voice says, awakening him from the restless sleep he had entered into only shortly before.

He forces his heavy eyelids open, immediately meeting the sad, tired eyes of Meredith. He instantly sits up and quickly runs his hand over his face.

"Hey," he responds huskily.

"Have you been here all night?" she asks as she studies him carefully.

"Yeah," he sighs.

"You didn't have to..." she begins nervously.

"Yes, I did. I do. I have to," he states sternly as his posture stiffens even more.

She shifts slightly, wincing in pain as her aching body protests the movement. Derek jumps to his feet to help her move up the bed. She reluctantly accepts the help and smiles gratefully at him in return.

"How are you feeling?" he asks in a concerned voice as he pulls his chair closer to her bed.

"Other than the fact that I feel like a giant hippo all the time anyways and the fact that I'm achy, tired, and sore from the surgery...okay," she says as she shrugs.

He can't help but chuckle at her answer. "Yeah. Stupid question. I get it," he says as he leans back and shakes his head, experiencing the first instant of relief since he first saw her come through the doors of the hospital.

She turns her head and smiles softly at him. "Yeah, but thanks for asking," she says in a quiet voice.

"Always. I will always ask," he says in a serious voice. He can't help but notice her shoulders stiffen. "Mer...I know now is not the time...nor the place...but we do need to talk...sooner rather than later," he says as he runs his palms against his thighs.

She sighs as she sinks even further into the bed. "I know," she responds before averting her glance towards the monitor.

"I want to be there..." he begins.

She immediately turns to face him. "I want you to be there. For the baby," she states, placing emphasis on the final word.

He sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose. "But what about for you?"

"I'm fine," she persists.

"Right," he responds in a tone of disbelief.

"I don't need you. I certainly don't need you out of obligation to your son," she says, crimson creeping into her cheeks as her frustration rises.

He throws his hands up in surrender, knowing that now is not the time to press the subject. "Fine," he surrenders.

A knock on the door interrupts their discussion as his mother and father stick their heads in.

"How are you feeling today, dear?" his mother asks in a soft voice as she glances at Meredith's chart.

"As good as can be expected," Meredith answers with the best smile she can muster.

"My son isn't bothering you now, is he?" Dr. Shepherd asks.

Meredith giggles softly as she glances at Derek. "Always," she responds in a joking tone.

Dr. Shepherd chuckles as he pats his son on the shoulder. He leans down to whisper in his son's ear. "You look like shit," he says quietly so Meredith doesn't hear him.

Derek rolls his eyes as he shrugs his dad's hand off of his shoulder. "Thanks, Dad. Appreciate it."

Dr. Shepherd chuckles once again as he straightens up. "Meredith, I was thinking that maybe Derek and I could run to your home and get you some items. You are going to be here a couple of more days, and I thought that you might want some things," he says as he awaits the young woman's response.

Derek starts to protest, not wanting to leave Meredith's side, but bites his tongue after he notices the look his mother is sending him.

Meredith chews on her bottom lip as she debates what to do. She fears what they will think when they see her run down apartment.

"Where are your keys?" Dr. Shepherd asks resolutely and she knows that he won't take no for an answer.

Meredith sighs as she leans back against the pillow. "In my purse," she responds in a defeated voice. "My address is on my driver's license," she adds before closing her eyes and attempting to block out the mental images that are invading her mind.

It will be okay. It will be okay. It has to be okay.

Shit.