Tainted Tides

Chapter 19

*Dec's POV*

The remainder of that day, I laid rolled into a ball in my hammock, with Stephen stroking my back. He whispered reassurances as sobs wracked my body in waves, reaching crests and troughs at inconsistent times, tearing apart any glimmer of composure at the seams, stitch by stitch. With every stroke of Stephen's hand on my back, I felt my body fill with comfort and longing. As much as I needed Stephen's comfort, every time his hand touched my back, every time it trailed over my lightly bruised spine, every time it pushed me a step in the correct direction to recovery; I hated it.

It fucking Hurt.

It hurt that I wanted the hand to not be Stephen's. The only hand I wanted stroking my back, belonged to the same man who had just tried to kill me.

I hated myself for that.

Eventually, I cried my body dry. I fell asleep sobbing, with Stephen's hand, lightly settled on my back as he'd fallen asleep in the chair next to my hammock.

******

I woke up the next morning, raw from my rough night. I rolled out of my hammock, bleary-eyed and disoriented, feeling the dull pain from the bruises on my back, run through my entire body. I was running on autopilot. Within minutes, I was dressed and above deck, eating breakfast. As the stale, dense bread scraped down my throat, my mind started to come into focus, remembering the events of the previous day, and I began noticing the aftermath. Floorboards splintered, railings buckled, doors shattered, and sails tattered. It seemed like nothing good had come from yesterday.

The ship had been brought to the brink of destruction. Inevitably, half of the crew would have come down with a cold from being out in that wind and rain – luckily not me, Robbie had gotten injured, and Ant had proven that he didn't care for my life – that he could betray my devotion without a second thought. That my life - my love - was little more than a toy for him to play with, and cast aside when he got bored. Everything I thought we had, he had destroyed at the first opportunity he had - as if it hadn't existed, to begin with.

The only things that brought me a sliver of solace, were Robbie and Stephen. At least I knew they cared. Both had saved my life individually, within the span of an hour, and proven to me that they would stand between me and Ant if needed. Lost in thought, I finished the dry bread without realizing it. As I did, I was met with Philip's kind smile.

"We've got a busy few days ahead, rebuilding this, looks like. Ready to go?" 

Not just Robbie and Stephen. I had Phil, and Ashely, and Jordan, and a lot more people on this ship who cared about me.

I grunted softly and forced a small smile before pushing myself off the rail and walking away with Phil, as ready as I could force myself to be, for a day of repairing Ant's ship.

*****

Lunch rolled around before I noticed how fast time was passing. I found myself leaning against the railing eating more dense, dry, and stale bread, in the same place I had been in the morning. I took measured bites of the small loaf, chewing with unnecessary focus, trying to keep any thoughts of the tanned, spiky-haired captain, walking about the deck, out of my mind. I didn't want to think about him. I knew that every complete thought of him would feel like a dagger in my heart, so I focused on the only thing that didn't involve him at the moment.

Chewing.

My systematic mastication was interrupted by a dark-haired, tall man with an eyepatch and a soft smile, leaning on the rail beside, just barely allowing a strangled sigh slip from his mouth as he let the railing hold his weight.