Tainted Tides

Chapter 17

*Ant's POV*

That night, I barely slept.

I tossed and turned, woke up from the feeling of falling, and had nightmares of drowning. Every time I woke up, the image of Dec's complacent, and emotionless face seared at the forefront of my mind. And every time, I was filled with both anger, and sorrow.

Heedless of my restless slumber, the sun rose and brightened the sky, and forcing me to lie awake, spread eagle on my mattress, staring at the planks of the deck above me while a gloomy grey light creeped into the room from the small porthole.

With a low groan, I rolled my legs out of bed, to catch my torso as it balanced when I stood. I reached over to my bedside table, to pick up the glass of water. As I stretched out my fingers to curl them around the glass, a sharp pain shot through my knuckles. Pulling my hand up to my face, I examined the boney ridges, seeing an array of lacerations covering them. Staring at the small, fresh cuts, the events of the previous evening filled my mind once again with alarming realism. I looked across the room the dent I'd left in a splintered wood, and clenched my fist in frustration. The look of fear on Dec's face from the moment my control had slipped, swept over my eyes along with my eyelids.

I hated that I had done that.

The worst part was, that Dec would be the one to fix the wall... It was his job. He would have to relive it.

I hated myself for that.

I hated him- no. I hated the situation he'd put us in.

Why. Was. He. So. Confusing?!

With a frustrated grunt, I ignored the pain and downed the contents of the glass, hoping to clear my mind.  In minutes, I was dressed and out on the forecastle deck, watching as my crew finished their breakfast and trickled to their designated locations to get on with their work. As an air of efficiency set over my crew, I turned around and went to rest heavily against the outer rail, overlooking the unforgiving greyness in the sky and sea. A cool breeze passed through me, and I closed my eyes, hoping that the wind would carry my emotions with it.

When the breeze died, a comforting smell filled my nostrils, and a warm hand was on my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see a piece of bread held out in front of me.

"Thanks, De-" I said as I turned around. "Er, I mean thanks, Rob." I said sheepishly while taking the bread. I hastily took a bite, knowing I couldn't embarrass myself with my words if my mouth was full. Robbie gave me a knowing smile, but before he could say anything, I changed the topic.

"On the right today, eh Robbie?" I said, gesturing to his eyes.

Robbie laughed, the sound quelling fragments of my hidden frustration. "Nothing gets passed you, does it Ant-Man?"

I gave a playful and sarcastic huff in response, "Hardly takes a genius, does it? Unfortunately we're on a ship of dimwits."

"Including Stephen?" Robbie asked with a laugh.

"You've met him, tell me I'm wrong." I laughed back.

"Really? Alright, how about Dec?" He asked with a knowing smile.

My face fell. "Especially Dec. I'll never understand what goes on in his mind." I said, in a more serious tone than intended, as my frustration seeped out.

"Huh, and here I thought your opinion of him was vastly different..."

I hung my head and let out a measured sigh in response. Rob really knew me better than I knew myself. That was what he meant on the day we left Baron's Bay. He knew I loved Dec, before I did.