As Long As You Need

31-Decisions

Decisions. 

I hate making them.

Having to choose between a lemonade or a soda at a restaurant, or between my favorite blue top and white top. On what movie to put on during movie night, hell whether I want a cheese burger or chicken nuggets from McDonald's. 

I always hate making decisions especially when I don't know exactly which is the right one in the end. With Delilah sometimes I wonder if I made the wrong decision, pushing her with the whole Matt thing. What if I eased up, would we still be friends?

Making decisions suck. 

Now I have to make one, and not a simple one like whether I want to have onions on my burger. 

I have to choose whether I tell my dad about Noah. 

Laying here with him on my stomach, running my hands through his hair. All I can think about is that he doesn't deserve this. He deserves better in every aspect. Not just that his dad is abusing him but his mom is doing nothing. 

I know she's probably scared of the dad, but I don't know if I could ever sit there and watch my child get beat like that. No I know I couldn't. 

If I choose not to say anything my dad im just as bad as her, even worse. I know that my dad would let Noah stay with us, that he would have somewhere to go away from his father. I just hope he isn't mad at me if I tell my dad. 

What if it's just like Delilah again and I over step? Could I bare to lose him? But the way his dad is becoming if I stay silent could I lose him that way too?

I feel him move a little in his sleep. Looking down I see the bruises that litter his back. He's in pain, deeper than the bruises and cuts. 

Thinking about what I will do I realize I have a few days until his dad gets back. If I tell my dad now and he sees the state Noah's in maybe he will understand just how bad it is. Can Noah handle showing my father? Would he refuse to? 

He claims his father is never this bad and it was just a one time thing, but what if it isn't? What if it happens again or worse? 

Looking over at his clock I see that's it's six o'clock in the morning. I haven't slept all night. I know that once we get up I have a decision to make. 

Four hours go by the thoughts swarming my head as I hold him to me. I feel him shuffle then look up at me his eyes opening. 

"You stayed." he said through his tired voice, I give him a weak smile running my hands through his hair, "As long as you need remember?" he softly nods sitting up. 

He cracks his wrists and neck before standing up, "I'm going to take a shower, wait for me?" he asks and I nod giving him a quick peck before he heads into his bathroom. 

Once the bathroom door closes I plop down on my back looking at his ceiling. He's going to hate me. 

The door opens and Noah comes out in just a towel. I sit up running a hand through my hair, "Noah can I talk to you?" I ask and he hesitantly nods sitting on the edge of the bed. 

I scoot down so I am next to him looking down at my hands, "Would you hate me if I told my dad." I say really fast getting it over with. 

There is a long pause between my words and his, "Bails I could never hate you." he says but I can feel there is more he wants to say so I stay silent. 

"I just, your dad can't magically fix everything. Does he really need to know?" I sigh looking up into his eyes. 

"He can help Noah. You can stay at our house. We'll figure something out." he furrows his brows, "Like that's some magic answer Bailey? Stay at your house. Eventually I have to come home." he raises his voice slightly.

I flinch when he uses my full name, he never does. "You can stay, maybe my dad can talk to yours or go to the police-" he cuts me off standing up. 

"Police are you fucking crazy?" I shake my head looking down, "He leaves me a little beaten so what? The police aren't going to do anything Bailey and all it would have done is anger him more don't you get that?" 

I sigh daring to look up at him. He's full on angry and its at me. He's never been angry with me, thats new. 

I stand from the bed, "Noah please I am sure my dad would have an answer if we just talked-" he chuckles darkly. 

"Seriously Bailey you just keep pushing it. Go ahead tell your dad whatever. Now I get why Delilah won't speak to you. All you do is push and push." he says and the second he says it he's got a look of regret on his face. 

Biting my bottom lip to keep from crying. Why do I want to cry? Maybe because I got no sleep last night. That's it I am blaming it on being tired. I know I am not about to cry over some words a boy said to me.

"Bails I didnt-" I stop him, taking off his hoodie and throwing it at him, "I'm sorry." I say pulling down my sleeves. 

He furrows his eyebrows, "I'm sorry I care about you, about Delilah, about Brady. My mom died because I didn't do anything, I didn't act, I didn't tell anyone. All I want to do is make sure you don't continue to get hurt. So sue me for caring about you." I say storming out of his room.

I can hear him following me as the tears threaten to fall from my eyes. "Bails wait." he calls out but I don't stop.  

Feeling him pull on my arm I turn around, "What?" I say harshly. He closes his eyes taking a breath, "I just need to get home, I'm tired." I say pulling my arm from his grasp. 

I begin to walk home in the freezing temperature. Fuck I shouldn't have gone all here's your jacket back I am mad at you, because now I am freezing my ass off.

Once I get home I race up to my room. I strip from my clothes and take a hot shower. After that I put on some comfy clothes and get into bed needing sleep. 

Even though I am mad at Noah, I still need to try and help him. 

I have made my decision. 

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Mid week update