As Long As You Need

42-Delilah

I got accepted. 

Delilah is crying. 

Noah sent me another text. 

"Tell me everything." I say still holding onto her. 

She looks around, "Can we go to your house?" She asks whispering and I nod. 

We step out of the bathroom and b-line it for her car in the parking lot. 

We drive in silence to my house. 

My mind is racing. What happened to her? Who made her cry? Who's ass am I beating?

Pulling up at my house she just stares up at it, not making a move to get out of the car. I unbuckle my seatbelt turning towards her, "You want to come in?"

She looks over to me, "Is your dad home?" I shake my head, "He's on a haul."

Delilah nods slowly before unbuckling her own seatbelt. We make our way inside and up to my room. She sits down on my bed and I sit at my desk chair. 

The silence in the room is excruciatingly loud. 

Delilah shifts on the bed crossing her legs and resting her forearms on her thighs. 

"So you and Noah are really a thing now?" She asks and I nod before realizing she isn't even looking up at me. 

"Yeah, Brady knows too."

Her lip quirks slightly, "Figured, I mean you're wearing his shirt."

I look down remembering that I was. 

We fall into another uncomfortable silence. I want to wait for when she is ready to talk. To not push her, but school gets out in two hours and then Brady and Noah will be home. I doubt she'll be willing to tell me once they get here. 

"Noah is living here by the way." I say and she meets my eyes for just a moment, "Why?"

I gulp, I love her but I can't tell her it's not my place. 

"Family stuff." She nods. 

"I don't love him." She whispers and I furrow my brows, "Love who?"

A lone tear falls from her left eye. "Matt, I thought I did but I- it's bad B."

I stand up walking across the room and sitting beside her on the bed. 

I place a comforting hand on her back, rubbing circles as she lets more tears fall. 

"He doesn't love me, some days I think he even hates me."

I shake my head, "He seemed so into you, I doubt he hates you."

She tucks a strand of dyed brown hair behind her ear, "He wishes I was you."

My heart picks up. He wishes Delilah was me. What?

"At first I thought he was just protective over you. Saying things about how Noah would only hurt you and that you deserved better. I told you how he was during sex."

I nod and she continues. 

"When I finally started speaking up against him, saying I didn't like it he told me "Bailey would let me.' 'Bailey wouldn't be a little crying bitch.'"

Tears begin to fall down my face, I didn't even realize I was hugging her to me now. 

"He wanted to get married, saying I was it for him. God I wanted to believe him so much. So I did it I married him." She says ashamed. 

"But I-I don't want this anymore B. I don't want him anymore, he isn't the Matt I remember." 

I want to scream for her. 

She feels like she should've known better but at one point in my life I thought Matt was an amazing person too. This year he started showing a darker self, but I didn't realize his motives. His intentions with Delilah weren't pure. 

He knew how she felt about him and used it in some sick twisted way to make me jealous? To hurt her? I am not even sure. 

All I know is when I see him next, he's a dead man. 

"It'll be ok." I whisper into her hair, "I'll help you I promise, it will be ok." 

She begins to break in my arms, my best friend. My light. 

A part of me breaks too. 

I don't know how long we sit there crying. How long I think about all the things he could have done and said to her these past few months. All while I was laughing and being happy. 

She pulls away from me slightly, "I am going to file for divorce. And I am going to move back in with Cal. I am just so scared of what Matt will do or say when I tell him."

I squeeze her arm, "If you need me to be there I will."

She shakes her head, "No I couldn't ask you to-"

I stop her, "You aren't asking I am offering. You are my best friend D, I won't let you get put in some fucked up position with him because I wasn't there. Again." I whisper the last part. 

Delilah pinches her eyebrows together, "You can't blame yourself Bailey. I chose to cut you off. I chose to make you abandon me."

"No I should've tried harder. I knew that wasn't you."

Delilah stops me, "Listen I will not let you sit here and blame yourself. You tried to reach out, and I love you for it. I just I was so caught up in my own head. Thinking that I really knew Matt that he didn't mean to do those things to me. To say those things to me."

I go to say something else but the front door slams shut. 

"Bails are you here?" Noah calls from down stairs. I look over at my clock. It's already been two hours. 

I guess we did cry for a long time. 

I can hear him as he walks up the stairs. 

"Do you want me to leave?" Delilah asks and I shake my head, "No please don't."

Ok so part of me not wanting her to leave is for some selfish reason. 

I mean I don't want her to leave because I love and miss her and I want to talk to her more about everything...but also I don't think I am ready to talk about the Stanford thing.

The door swings open and Noah comes barging in. 

He stops when he sees me and Delilah in bed crying.

"What happened?"