Coming Back Home

Chapter 14

The rest of the week after the chemo was spent in bed. This time around, she just felt so weak and depleted of energy to do even the simplest tasks. She barely ate her meals and only tolerated soup, crackers or vegetable/ fruit smoothies (prepared by Bin). Bin's mother, Park Chin Sun, was kind enough to help out in the house a few days in a week. She would cook for the kids and despite Yejin's protest, would help Bin wash the clothes.

On one particular day, Yejin felt strong enough to go down and take her brunch in the kitchen. Eomeonim was around cooking up a storm.

"Yejin-ah, gwenchana?" She says as she approaches Yejin, intending to assist her.

"I'm feeling good today Eomeonim, please don't worry too much" Yejin says noticing the frown on her head.

"That's my job, you silly girl. Bin is in the grocery to buy some fruits. Sit down and I'll prepare your meal and don't you insist on doing it yourself."

Yejin recognizes that tone and knows it's pointless asserting herself. She sits down on the dining table and tinkers on her phone while Eomeonim busies herself like a mother hen around her. While scrolling through 3 days worth of messages, Yejin comes across the ones from her parents.

Despite her thirty six years on earth, any interaction with her family causes her past issues to be reactivated. She has tried to leave all her baggages in the past but apparently, this is her Waterloo. Today's issue seems to be her inability to reply immediately to their messages.

Sister: Sending you this article Yej... *linked article on cancer and holistic medicine*

Sister: Yej?

Eomma: Maybe her treatment is scheduled this week?

Sister: I hope you really are resting and not just putting us on mute.

Appa: She's always been that way. Why am I not surprised? Apparently, cancer doesn't change someone

Sister: Appa!!

The truth was, her relationship with her family has been on an 'only-if-they-need-to-know-basis". She has given up the fantasy that their dynamics will improve or that she would get an apology. As for her older sister, Minji, the competition that their father encouraged permanently caused a distance between them. While Minji never said anything disparaging against her, she basked in the attention given to her by their parents and never reached out to Yejin. Minji was busy trying to be the best in everything and this left little room for anything else, including a relationship with her younger sibling. After graduating medicine in SNU, she further took up training as an OB-GYN in Stanford, to their parents' delight. And so, half of the year, in their retirement, they spend time with the golden child.

Yejin mindlessly dropped her phone too hard, in frustration, just as her eomonim was sitting down in front of her. Raising her eyebrow, she asks, " It's them right?"

It's been far too long since she has given in to her feelings and exposed her past pains and so, Yejin was surprised to feel some tears wanting to spill down. She takes a deep breath, just as her eomeonim transfers beside her and rubs her back.

"You'll be fine Jinnie. We're here."

"Gosh, I haven't cried about them for so long."

"What's happening now for you, Jinnie?"

"It's just that this is a familiar feeling for me. Just like that time when I got pregnant with Mi Cha."

"Oh...." For the first time, Park Chin Sun is rendered speechless. She shakes her head at the memory of how difficult that time was for everyone. Probably more so for Yejin.