Energy - Loki x Reader

Privacy

Come morning, you're no longer livid, just betrayed and harbouring an aggressive grudge towards Loki. Liar. Scum. Filth. Nat's sprawled across the right-side of the bed, her hand holding your wrist, and Wanda's to the left of you, fast asleep in an armchair. You sit up, and Nat's eyes fly open. You hold up your hand, but don't bother facing her. 'No, no. I'm not going postal. I've calmed down.' Too tired from trying to keep you down all night, Nat lies back down and falls asleep wordlessly. You wipe a hand down your face to wake yourself up and go to grab some coffee for the three of you. The kettle takes it's time to boil, so you reflect on last night. Thinking about it with a clear mind, Loki seemed to feel genuinely guilty after you started crying, and your heart aches for a moment. Stop it, you think to yourself. He hurt you. He deserves to feel ashamed. Suddenly, the back door swings open and a cold hand grabs you and pulls you outside.

'We need to talk,' Loki says. He looks tired, purplish bags under his eyes, but they don't look sickly. They add a certain fragility to his face that you never considered before.

'You've got some nerve talking to me after last night,' You say, voice cold and cutting. When he doesn't reply, you continue. 'There's nothing I want to say to you.' You try to release yourself from his grip, but it's like iron, and you're not moving.

'I have plenty to say to you.' His grip tightens, so you try to wiggle out of it.

'Loki, let me go.'

He lets your wrist go and instead leans against the back door so that you can't re-enter. 'Please, just listen to what I have to say.'

'I don't owe you shit.'

'I never said you did.' He returns you stare, steely and unwavering. When you still don't say anything, his eyes darken, and his voice drops to a whisper. 'Please.' You step away from the door and lean against the pillar, ready to listen, though still with an unforgiving stance. He doesn't say anything, so you wave your hand forward, telling him to proceed. 'I know you feel like I abandoned you-'

You scoff.

He pauses for a moment, glaring at you, then continues. 'I know you feel like I abandoned you. I could have made you feel less alone, yes, but I'll be damned if I abandoned you. You need to believe me. I tried to talk to you every day.' His breaths are ragged and heavy now, and his emerald eyes are intense - piercing. Watching him be vulnerable like this forces you to let your guard down, and you unintentionally uncross your arms and lean closer. 'I made sure you were safe, but I didn't want to introduce you to this mess, not when your dad died protecting you from it.'

'Loki...' You take a step closer. Fuck, you think. Why is it so hard to stay mad at him? He continues, despite your interjection. 

'I couldn't face you knowing I just let that happen to your dad - my friend. I don't expect you to believe me, and I certainly don't expect you to forgive me, but I can't have you mad at me if you don't know the full story.' Before you can reply, he wipes the emotion from his face and his usual, cold self returns. Without a word, he swiftly opens the door and stalks back inside, leaving you outside, speechless. Why was he so turbulent? One minute you feel like he's the only person who sees you, the next you feel like you're the only person he can't see. Shaking your head, you walk back inside with a slam, but the kettle's cold and Loki's nowhere to be seen.

Later

'Y/n? Can I speak to you?' It's Wanda, head poked round her bedroom door. You swing your arms round and face her. She's twiddling her rings around her fingers, a nervous tick of hers. She's about to say something controversial, but the look on her face tells you she's determined to say it. 

'You'll say what you have to say even if I say no, so..' You gesture for her to follow you and the two of you flop down on your bed. 

She sighs. 'Can I be honest with you?' You turn to face her, scowling.