Energy - Loki x Reader

Argument

You reach across the bed when you wake up the next morning, fingers searching for Loki, but when they find only the soft covers, you open your eyes. You're alone in the bed. 'Loki?' You call, sitting up and trying to crane your neck to see into your bathroom. It's empty. 'Weird,' You mutter, and pull the duvet off of you.

As your legs still aren't strong enough to hold you without support, you have to clutch onto the wall, but slowly you make your way to the meeting room to see if Loki or anyone else is there. When you get there, the door's shut and you eye it suspiciously . The door's never shut. Careful not to step on the one creaky floorboard, you press your ear up against the door to listen in.

'I need to tell you all something.' It's Loki, and the clarity and volume of his voice suggests he's closest to the door

'What is it this time?' Steve. You can tell he's fed up; You can practically hear the eye roll in his voice.

'You weren't going to make it off of Thanos' ship. Not alive,' Loki says. You frown in the general direction of his voice, not liking where this is going.

'What are you talking about? We did.' Tony's voice is muffled and far away. You picture him at the head of the table, leant back on the reclining office chair, resisting the urge to put his feet up on the table.

'Because I made a deal with Thanos.' Loki sounds snarky, obviously not liking Tony's condescending tone.

There's a pause whilst they all take in what he said, and you're grateful for it, because you find yourself staggering away from the door, hating where this is going even more now. Nat speaks from the same place Steve spoke. 'What was the deal, Loki?' Trust Nat to ask the questions nobody else wants to ask.

Loki's voice is lower now. Ashamed. If he weren't stood by the door, you don't think you'd hear him. 'In return for letting you take y/n,' He pauses, knowing their reaction's not going to be good for him. The dread in your chest builds. 'I'd give him the Tesseract.'

'WHAT?!' You clap your hand over your mouth. You don't want them to know you were eavesdropping, but you couldn't help yourself, it bursted out of you. Obviously it was bad from the way he was acting, but this. This is not what you expected.

The door swings open, nearly hitting you, and they all stare at you, white as a sheet. 'Y/n-' Loki starts stepping towards you. You take a step away from him, almost falling over.

You hold your forearm against your forehead, about to cry from stress and anger. 'He's going to come back for me anyway!' You're breathless yet hyperventilating, and the walls are caving in, and your vision's blurry, and everything's too loud. 'Now all he needs is the rest of the power stone and he can tear apart the universe!' You want to storm out, fly away, or go to the training room and let your powers loose, but you can't do any of that, so you just let your legs give way and slide down the wall to the floor.

'Can you give us a minute?' Loki asks the rest of the team. They all walk past him, angry, concerned, or wary. Tony's the last out, grabbing Loki by the wrist.

'We'll talk about this later,' He says, furious. Tony walks off.

'You're just going to let half the universe die? All the people out there, who love each other like you love me, and you've just jeopardised their relationships and their loved ones. There's no way you can spin this to make it better.' You refuse to cry, and you don't have the energy to shout, so you just sound numb.

'I didn't know you were the power stone, in my defence.' He tries to make it a joke, but you just stare at him, unsmiling.

'I don't think that matters, Loki. You gave him an infinity stone, because you wanted to keep me alive.' You dwell on it for a moment, and your anger increases, chasing the numbness away. You're mad, and he knows it. 'I mean, think about it. There's two of us, right? Thanos wants to wipe out half the universe. Where does that leave us, Loki? Where does that leave me when you're gone?!' You press a finger against his chest, voice cracking on the last sentence.

His tone softens at your expression. 'I had to do it y/n. I did what I had to do to keep you safe. Even if I did know you were the power stone, I'd do it again.'

'That's the problem. You did this for me, which makes this all my fault. Your actions are my cross to bear.' He goes to object, probably wanting to make some insensitive joke, but you carry on. Less mad now, more guilty. 'I'm not worth half the universe.'

He pulls his head back, like he's hurt that you said this. As if it's the most ridiculous notion you've ever said. 'Yes, you are.' He strokes your cheek. 'You're worth the whole universe to me.'

You sigh, taking in his appearance. You can't look him in the eye, so you turn your gaze to the end of the hallway, where the others are waiting in the kitchen. 'Wanda?' You call. She pops her head around the archway, eyebrows raised. 'Can you help me back to my room?' You ask. She looks between you and Loki, reluctant to go against him, but she comes over anyway and helps you up. You don't look back at him, scared you won't be able to resist forgiving him.

Wanda shuts the door behind you two. You have one arm wrapped around her neck and feel bad for putting all your weight on her, but she doesn't mind. She helps you get in bed, tucking you in and taking a seat in the armchair to your left. 'I hate this,' You say, fighting back tears.

She leans forward and rests her chin in her hands. 'What do you hate?'

'I'm useless. I can't even get in bed by myself and each day it gets worse.'

Her face flickers for a moment, losing its put together facade. If you didn't know better, you would have said it was panic. 'Your body's just adjusting to the change.'

Your roll your eyes, and move onto your back so that you're staring at the ceiling. 'Yeah. That's what everyone's saying.' You groan in frustration. 'He tried to convince me to get out of here.'

'What?' She frowns.

'Before we went of to fight Thanos. He tried to get me to leave with him. Not to fight. If I'd have listened-' A tear tumbles down one cheek, but you don't think Wanda notices, and if she does, she knows not to say anything. 'If I'd have listened, Thanos wouldn't have the last two stones and I wouldn't be sick and a burden.'

'Hey!' She sounds cross. 'You are not a burden. We hate seeing you like this, but nobody's holding a grudge against you because you're sick. You gave yourself up for Pete, and you've saved our lives on multiple occasions.'

'Thanks Wanda.'

She gets up and kisses your forehead. 'Now what do you want for lunch?'