LOSIN' MY MIND|| POLO G

twenty-three🖤

december 27, 2019

nylasia🧸

i picked up my phone looking for darall's number, after 3 rings he answered.

"uhm... darrall,"

"wassup ny?" he asked.

i sniffed wiping the tears that were forming, "can you come over?"

i bit the inside of my cheek waiting for a response, it was mad quiet on the other line.

after a long sigh he started speaking, "okay, i'm on my way."

i turned off my phone flopping on my bed.

i heard the doorbell ring indicating that darrall came over.

my dad had left to new york early yesterday, christian was out and so was my mom.

i went down the stairs opening the door for him. i walked to the living room sitting down and he sat right beside me.

"you okay ny? look like you been crying."

i was hesitant at first, but i know i can tell darrall anything.

i shook my head playing with my fingers, "ever since i left the hospital i'm not able to sleep, i lost so much weight and i feel and look ugly." i mumbled the last part.

darrall held my chin putting my head up, "remember i told you to alway look up ny. you know i got you. what else been up?"

darrall💉

i stared at her waiting for her to answer my question, but she shook her head, "nothing else, i just wanna go back to my old self."

i frowned, i can see new cuts on her body but i don't know how to address it. i don't want to make her feel bad.

"you sure? why can't you sleep, love?" i asked and she shrugged her shoulders.

i nodded my head, taking my phone out.

shordy wasting my time.

i scrolled through instagram then heard sniffles, "why you crying nylasia?" i asked setting my phone down.

"if you wanna leave you can just leave, i don't know why i even called you to come over here."

i rolled my eyes sighing, "c'mon g, you know why you called me over here and i know why you did too. look ion know how to help mfs with depression, can't even help my own self. all i know how to do is love somebody, but after you broke my heart i can't even do that shit. please just tell me why you been cutting yo self."

she widen her eyes pulling the blanket over her thighs.

i shook my head, "just talk to me, i wanna help you."

"nobody can darrall, i been doing this shit because i can't help my own self. i'm not how i'm supposed to be. i'm not doing good, i'm not making myself proud. i can't do nothing right. i fucking got shot fa no reason now i can't become what i want to."