Survival

Part 2

His choice, maybe.

Surely not mine. I would have never done it.

I have never asked to be harassed.

Telling a victim of harassment that it was her fault it like to say that the moon is made of cheese. It is not easy to live a harassment. It is not easy to go to school with your harasser. It is not easy to see him every day, to hear his name, his voice.

Every time a knife pierces the armour I am trying to create against more pain. Telling a victim of harassment, she looked for that it is like to reduce the male gender to mere animals attracted to a body able to create pleasure. Well, some people might be like that.

The boy, my harasser, raped other people before me, and harassed some others. I am not the only one, even though, in this case, I wanted to.

Everyone processes the pain in different ways, but I am sure that it is not easy. A person that was raped by him does not even want to see him at school. Yes, he goes to school with his harasser, since year 9, since before I met him.

No one told me what he did before I fell in love with him. No one informed me, that falling in love was bullshit. Listening to people saying that it was my fault maybe is worse than living the actual harassment.

I have never wanted that to happen. And I made "choices" I regret, but if those would have been choices, I would have never reported it. I would have hated myself even more I already do, but I would have never reported it.

I do not report people for choices I made.

But I did not choose that, I have never chosen that.

If you will ever read this book, you should know that I still cry for what you did to me, but I still did not change tutor class and I did not even ask to involve the police. I have never wanted anything to happen to you.