Lies We Tell

17 : Reminiscing

By the time Carl and Zahra rejoined the other islanders, the girls were gathering to head inside. "Babes, we've got a special delivery from our boys in the Villa!" Chelsea squealed.

Zahra glanced over at Carl, that guilt resurfacing. He nudged her forward. "Go, we'll talk again later."

She followed the girls into this Villa's bedroom where one suitcase sat at the foot of each of the six beds. Tags attached to the handles noted which suitcase was for each girl. For a moment Zahra got excited, wondering what Lucas may have packed for her, but she deflated when she remembered she was technically coupled up with Noah. Unceremoniously, she unzipped her case and was unfazed by the sight of only her things tucked away inside, nothing special included. Maybe he didn't know what to send her, but most likely he knew she wouldn't have cared.

Priya came over to her and subtly slipped a folded note into Zahra's hand. "This was in my case for you," she whispered. "Lucas was clever-- he tucked it into one of my bras so it wouldn't be discovered."

The girls shared a giggle. "Thanks, babes," Zahra said gratefully, holding tight to the note. Her heart raced as she wondered about what was inside-- for fear it would be either too revealing or unsatisfying, she wanted to read it alone.

Priya left, and Zahra opened the note. The message was short and simple, and it was also scrawled in what Zahra could only guess as to be eyeliner: Should've said this morning, but I miss you already.

Suddenly Zahra ached more than she had this morning leaving Lucas behind. She missed him more than she wanted to admit, and it worried her what that meant. Maybe he wrote this note before the new girls came in-- maybe one of them had caught his eye and he'd already forgotten about her, about what they did just before she'd left. And Carl-- he was here now, and like he had said, they shared history no one else would understand. What did this mean for her and him? Could she even turn her back on Lucas for Carl instead?

The other girls were ready to rejoin the new boys outside, so Zahra quickly stashed Lucas's note and followed them back out. Her concerns weighed heavily on her mind for the rest of the afternoon as they all got to know each other better, including well into the evening. When it came time to consider the bed situation for the night, she only had two options: either sleep alone outside, or share a bed with Carl as she wouldn't sleep with anyone else. It should have been easy for her to choose sleeping alone since she'd done it so many times before, but seeing Carl had prompted a need for closure she hadn't realized she was missing, and perhaps one night could fix that for her.

Priya wandered over to her. "I'm sleeping out here on the daybeds tonight. Want to join me, babes?" Zahra must have looked hesitant because Priya eyed her knowingly. "It's Carl, isn't it?"

"It's not what you think," she explained. "I miss Lucas, and I want Lucas, but Carl... We have this history that I don't share with anyone else, not even Lucas. It just feels like I have some things to work through now that he's here."

Priya gave her an intentional look. "Does he know about your accident?" She nearly whispered that last word.

Zahra shook her head. "We stopped talking before it happened. He heard about it, but we haven't talked about everything." She bit her lip. "I don't really talk to anyone about this."

Her friend smiled sympathetically. "It's okay, hun. You don't have to explain yourself."

"But is it a mistake if I go to him tonight?" she whispered, anxious. "Lucas-"

"-isn't here," Priya interrupted gently, "and Carl is. You owe it to yourself to take a night with him and settle whatever you need to."

Zahra nodded, at first uncertain but then again, feeling more sure of herself. "Yeah, okay. Thanks."