Blind Colors(Tododeku)

8

Midoriya's POV

It's been a month since we started training and I've been sparring with Todoroki for a while.My spacial awareness has gotten better, my perception of the world has changed.And I can feel this change brewing in me, making me stronger, then I ever could be without this huge change in my life.Although as much as I've progressed, a lingering, vicious fear keeps eating away at me.Something that brews in subconscious.

I was sparring with Todoroki when Aizawa came up to us signaling for us to stop.
"Hey, I just got notice from the doctor, you'll be taking a break on training until next week, this Friday you'll be going to your doctor's appointment, Midoriya,"Aizawa said and a mix of disappointment and nervousness soaked into me at the news and the stop of our training.
"Ah!Well, okay..."I said slowly as I absorbed the information.
"Well, Since we have the time, I want to take you somewhere,"Todoroki said abruptly as he pulled at my sleeve as we walked away.He pulled me before I felt a rush of wind before a calm.
"Where are we?"I asked as we stopped.
"We're outside, at the back of the school grounds, it's an area that most people don't know about, I come here to relax sometimes,"Todoroki said as he pulled me over somewhere before we sat down.I felt the heat of the sun, and the small gusts of wind.And I felt calm.I relaxed on the ground.And settled."Well?"Todoroki asked
"Good...calming..."I said as my voice got groggy as sleep started to claim me.
"I'm glad...to..see..."Todoroki was talking but my mind wasn't paying attention to his words but to the deep feeling of sleep pouncing at me.Overtaking me.

My eyes shot open.Nothing?I tried to see through the black fog yet it seemed endless.
"Have you heard?"I heard a voice call out.
"What?"I called out but there was no answer, instead another voice called out.
"Yes, that boy, it's unfortunate..."I heard and then the black fog tore and moved to show...another me?My body scrunched up as my head met my knees as I curled into the fetal position.I looked down at my other self, my aura was black, a dark and sad, despair looming.I reached out trying to grasp myself.My gaze shot up and I saw my other self's eyes.Black.Pure black orbs shown as they looked at me.My other self reached out at me.

"You failed....

You can't become a hero,"

I shot up.My body wheezing and my breathing quick and fast.I clawed at my hair as the image seared into my brain. As the words seeped into my soul.I felt tears flow down my eyes and I wanted nothing more than, to feel empty.Nothing more, then to be an empty husk.Because even though I'm working so hard to be better, to do better no matter how much I try, this fear lingers.

This nightmare

"Midoriya!"I shot away from the voice, anxiety, and despair welling in me as my tears flowed long and hard."Midoriya, it's okay, it's me Todoroki,"Todoroki pressed his hand against my cheek and I immediately recognized the touch, as Todoroki's. I felt my limbs shake and my breathing soften.I couldn't speak as I tried to calm my mind.I wanted to hug him.But Anxiety tackled the idea from my mind, Anxiety that I'd do something stupid in this weak stat.I cradled myself, hugging my legs as my warm tears trailed against my face.I felt Todoroki trail his hand to my shoulder."It's okay, I'm here,"He said and I felt him wrap his arms around me.Comfort welled around me and I relaxed under the touch.
"Sorry...it...it...must have been a nightmare..."I said but my voice was shaker than I meant for it.Todoroki's touch tightened around me, before loosening.
"Want to tell me about it?"He asked softly, and I almost felt as though I could pour my whole heart out to him, like he was the light that could evaporate the darkness.But I held my tongue, I didn't want him to feel what I was feeling, I didn't want my darkness to soil his light.I just tilted my head up and smiled, a broken, and scared smile, that tired, desperate smile that I tried to hide my fears under.
"I'm fine,"I said but my voice was dull, broken, like I'd been screaming for hours, and there was no one to listen."I'm fine,"I said again, as if to reassure myself as I moved my head away from the boy in front of me and got up off the grass that tempted me to stay, the comfort, and relaxation burnt away as I faced my impossibly high fear.