Last Time | lams

Chapter 3

Three days had passed, and I had not heard from John. Of course.

However, his face still didn't want to get out of my head. And that was annoying. I was trying to reassure myself, for example, I hadn't really been out alone in the last few days. I had been in class yesterday, and that was it. He couldn't find me or see me.

But he probably wasn't going to come looking for me. I'd have to stop imagining that I'd run into him every time I hit the street. He probably forgot me already. In the end, maybe he really doesn't exist. If that is the case, I would like to understand it so that I can stop waiting for it.

It impressed me how much I value something as trivial as that.

I was preparing to go to high school. It was my last year, and then it's over. I might not even be around to see the end of it, so I'm not worried about what happens next. I don't need to be worried. But I didn't want to go. For a long time now, I had lost all motivation for classes. I no longer found any interest in it either, because afterwards, I would do nothing. I already know it.

But I had to go. Sometimes-- often even, I wanted to skip school, and I don't know where. But I know that when I got home, I know I will have remarks from Abby and Rosalie, and I didn't have the strength to do that.

So I got dressed, I took my bag, and went out without eating. I got up late this morning, and Abby almost yelled at me. So I didn't want to see her in the kitchen. Anyway, I didn't have time to eat. I just said goodbye to Frances and Kitty when I passed them.

Finally, I was out too fast, and I might have arrived too soon. What an irony. I hated to be late, but arriving too early irritated me too. Then I began to walk with a light step. The house was not far from my little high school, and the walk was not very long. I was always doing it alone, even though Sam was in high school too. He had a friend in the neighborhood, so they were making the trip together.

I didn't like high school. First of all, because I didn't find it interesting as I said. I think that when I was younger, I loved learning, going to school and dreaming of studying for a long time. But today that's no longer the case. I don't have anyone to impress, and there's no point in succeeding for yourself, in my opinion.

But I hate high school, because it's one of the places that reminds me that I'm not up to it. And it's hard.

I sigh, if only I could stop everything.

I could stop everything.

"Alexander?"

I raised my head, John was in front of me, leaning against a wall. I felt my heart beat a little faster. He was there, He existed.

He really was him, I could see him a little more clearly than last time. His honey blond hair, his blue eyes, his smile.

"I was afraid I wouldn't find you," he said as he approached, "I'm stupid, I should have asked you where you live."

I couldn't help but smile a little.

"I didn't think I'd see you again," I admitted.

"Really? I was afraid I wouldn't know where to find you, but I felt like I was going to see you again."

"You're still acting weird."

"I haven't changed in a few days, you know."

He smiled at me. I couldn't believe he was in front of me. Maybe I was still dreaming. Don't wake me up, I love this dream, for once it's not a nightmare.

"Are you all right?" he asked me.

"Oh... yes I'm fine thank you."

John raised an eyebrow, obviously unconvinced. I forced myself to show a slight smile.