Last Time | lams

Chapter 2

"Alexander! You're finally home, I was starting to be worried..."

As I walked through the door of my house, Kitty, one of the three people who looked after us here, almost literally jumped on me. At the same time, I was a little late.

I don't really have a family, I've lived here since I came to the United States. We can consider this place a foster home, I think. We are four children living here. We are here because either we have no parents or our parents have not been able to take care of us. This is the case for the other three. Samuel, Frances and Thomas. Both Samuel and Thomas still have their parents, and Frances's father passed away many years ago now. I often feel sorry for her, she is still young. But she has a mother, although she is not in the best mental health.

However, I am the only one who has no family. I am used to it. But I don't know what's best between, not having a family, or having a family but really unstable and not able to take care of us.

"Sorry..." I murmured, "I didn't see the time."

Kitty smiled at me and her worried look left her face a bit. If she knew. If she knew what I had in mind in the park, she might not be appeased. Or maybe she wouldn't care.

Kitty is the only one who shows me a minimum of attention, but I know it's just because I'm an orphan. She spends more time with Frances, for example. Most of the time I'm alone. At least she's not like the other two. The other two don't like me, and they barely get a look at me.

"Try to be careful next time," she said, "We haven't eaten yet, but we were going to, will you join us in the room?"

I nodded then Kitty turned around. I passed quickly into my room to put my bag down. The advantage of living in a big house is that I have a room all to myself. I'm lucky for that. If I had to share it, it would have been horrible. I often have panic attacks at night, and I cry. And I don't want someone to hear that.

I then went down to join the others in the dining room. They were already there and watching me. I don't feel at my place.

I settled next to Sam, who smiled at me timidly. He was a little younger than me, and quite shy. He often said that he missed his parents, but if I had understood correctly, his father had been violating his mother. I know it's not easy when our parents destroy everything. When everything fall apart.

In front of me was Frances, who is only 8 years old. I think she often cries at night, I can hear her. Anyway, I hear Kitty going to see her. The rest of the time, she smiles and she's happy. And next to her was Thomas, who is nine years old. I don't know what happened to him, but he never talks about his parents. I think sometimes he'll see them, but nothing more.

I used food, and we started to eat in silence. Most of the time, at night, it was like that. And I was uncomfortable. In fact, I just didn't feel right here. I shouldn't be here. But I didn't feel right anywhere, and that was the problem.

Abby, one of the women running this place, was staring at me with a weird look. I wiped my mouth, thinking that I might have something, but she looked at me from top to bottom. I gave up trying to understand quickly, I know that she does not like me. She always blames me for always locking me up and never talking to anyone.

"Alexander," she said, "I saw your last two grades in high school."

Oh shit.

Let's just say that I haven't really been interested in classes for a while. I try to work, I try to get good grades. But I just can't do it. It's become impossible. So it reinforces the idea that everyone already has of me. I'm a mistake, I'm incapable.