Worlds Apart

Monday Fucking morning

Noah's POV: beep beep beep beep my alarm repeated until I turned it off and rolled out of bed. It was the first day of senior year and I know that sounds excited but for Noah Beck it wasn't because that meant I had to go to school and see my sister love her perfect life and I got to feel the pain of being neglected by family, and friends that I thought would be their forever. This was a normal day though and I was used to it. This year would be just like the rest mentally beating myself up because I wasn't good enough for the one girl my heart bested for. Sleeping with some girl to numb the pain that I didn't get the one girl I wanted. I wasn't one to sleep with the whole school but only specific girls that I would see at parties but if I wasn't wasted I wouldn't sleep with them. To sleep with someone that wasn't Dixie I would have to be drunk as fuck so even though people thought I was the biggest fuckboy I really wasn't. I party and drink almost every night I can to numb the pain that i couldn't keep my friends because they left, that I wasn't good enough for my own Twin and parents because the first opportunity they had to leave me they did.
I went into my closet and picked out a simple clothes with jeans and a sweatshirt. I got into the shower for about 7 minutes I got out and out my clothes on, brushed my teeth and I washed my face. I made my bed so my sister didn't have to and straighten up my room as much as I could before grabbing my bag and walking downstairs to greet the only person that I still had. Tatum my oldest sister and now the only sister I could say I had. Tatum finished college and high school early and wanted to paint and do art as her career taking after my mom, my dad left us when I was 3 and my mom left with my step dad and didn't come back. She sent us post cards from different places around the world, but soon stopped so I hadn't seen or heard for my mom in a couple of months. She sent us money and paid for her house bills so we didn't have to and that was about the only motherly thing that she had down for us I'm a hell of a long time.
Tatum was making pancakes and I told her "thanks sis but you didn't have"- she cut me off saying "noah chill out I have nothing else to do so please let me at least make my little brother breakfast," I just nodded not wanting to get into a bad mood. I sat down and talked about the day and football which was also one of the things that didn't leave me well it couldn't. Tatum came to all of my games ever since flag football I'm 6th grade and now I was captain of the football team and I won 3 championship games. After we talked I told her I loved her and I would be a little late because Bryce my ex best friend was throwing a back to school party. Josh, Tayler, and Blake were my best friends and they were also some people that came out of being popular. I knew Josh and Tayler they just used me for girls, and being popular but I honestly didn't care because i just wanted friends. Blake on the other hand was real and stuck by me threw all the hard times. Addi leaving, my parents leaving, all of my forbidden tears and even when I became the bad boy. Josh and Tayler came after all the hard times but Blake stuck during them and that's how I knew I had him for real. Blake Bryce and I used to be really close but when Bryce met addi through me he left with her and then I just had Blake. I had always known dixie and I always liked her but because I wanted her so bad and I was pretty sure I loved her I let go of her. Sometimes I wanted to kill nick I knew if I did I would hurt her and I think that that it is the only thing that kept me going. Knowing the addi, Bryce, and Dixie were okay made me hurt but made me keep going.
I finished eating and then I hugged Tatum goodbye and got into my Tesla that my mom bought me because buying me stuff was her only wash of apologizing for being a fuck up mom. I pulled up to the school on time and by the time I walked in Josh, Blake and Tayler were all talking to me about Bryce's party and the girls to get. We made it to our lockers luckily they were all side by side when dixie her sister charli and addi walked in. There lockers were across and like 2 lockers further down. When they got there addi looked at me but looked away like she did every morning. Bryce nick and chase walked up and greeted their girlfriends and then nick kissed dixie and she kissed him back and the pain that everyone morning brought me came back. Addi was laughing and smiling and she looked so happy and I was glad that she was but they didn't have anything that me and Tatum didn't have. Well they did they had parents that loved them and they didn't have to grow up on their own, but came my parents drive addi so far away she couldn't even look at me. After dixie and nick kissed dixie looked at me and then looked at addi and I heard Tatums name come out of nicks mouth.
Everyone I guess heard it because they began to look at me like my sisters name was a forbidden word. So I spoke up with my boys focusing on me "why the hell is my sisters name coming out of your mouth," he looked at me and tightening his grip on Dixies waist which mad me burn in jealousy then he said "why do you care you have nothing," he was right I didn't I had one best friend, and my money that was not even mine, and my sister. Everything else I had wasn't mine people were either using me, or just wanting to be seen with me. Nick for once said the most correct statement ever and that made me even more made "or really you want to go their," I said feeling I had nothing else to say. Dixie tried to shut nick up but he clearly woke up and felt like being a bitch to the wrong person. He said taking his hand off of Dixies waist and stepping close to me "yes I want to go there because I have the girl that you clearly want, and my girlfriend has become sister with your twin, you should hear the shit she talks about you," once again nick said all correct statements but got me thinking addi couldn't only just leave to feel satisfied but she had to talk shit. I looked at addi and her eyes went straight to Bryce. Then I looked at Dixie and she looked down and then that's when I realized they all didn't care that they had me wanting to drink to death. All I could say before my heart broke a little more "wow," and I started to walk away addi wanted to come after me but Bryce stopped her. I made it about 5 feet away when I heard nick yell "the pussy can't even take people not liking him. He has to run away," I turned around and everyone looked back at me dixie, Bryce and addi not even looking me in the eyes. I walked up to nick and said "it's Monday fucking morning I'm the first day of fucking school," and I punched him. He lost his balance and almost fell on to furious dixie, dixie wasn't mad at me though but was made at nick and my heart beat a little bit. She didn't care enough but maybe I was making her a opening. He got his balance back but siding even dare to punch me back instead of him getting my mad self he for Dixies. She pushed him off of her and then walked away flipping him off he friend to go after her but chase and Bryce stopped him and charli, addi, Bryce, and chase walked with her. The last thing I got from any of them was addi walking past and staring at me with hatred in her face but this was my twin and we were the same. So I'm her eyes I saw sadness and guilty ness. The bell rang and then I went along with my day. Class after class. I had algebra with Taylor, Josh I was glad they were there because I also had math with addi, Dixie, Bryce, nick and charli they didn't look or talk to me. I had history with Bryce, chase, addi and Blake. I had gym with everyone including my boys. I had science with addi and I couldn't help think that was a sign because when we were 6 we were doing science explosions while Tatum watch us through the windows while she painted. The rest of the class I had either by myself or the boys. Damn this year would be interesting but I had to go get ready for Bryce's party that I was dreading because when I go to a party I get wasted and I get vulnerable and I didn't want to see that people that hurt me the most seeing me like that.